64
„Read the room“ triggers me to no end (discuss.tchncs.de)
submitted 1 year ago by Haui@discuss.tchncs.de to c/autism@lemmy.world
30 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Recently I read through the comments on a post and someone suggested OP should „just read the room“.

I have been told this since I was young and it triggers me every time.

Being unaware of social dynamics in a situation is a thing a lot of autistic people I know struggle with. „Reading the room“ in my understanding means „becoming aware of the unspoken things in a situation“.

Collins dictionary says: If you say that someone reads the room, you mean that they understand their audience and adapt what they say to suit it.

I think, although not on purpose, saying this is massively ableist and making fun of someone for „not reading the room“ is harassment imo.

Feel free to give an opposing opinion as well. I would like to hear them.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] RavenFellBlade@startrek.website 8 points 1 year ago

To me, the expectation to "read the room" is like expecting me to read Braille with no training. It's trying to use one sense to do something another sense ordinarily does, in a way that I lack the physical sensitivity to do properly. Sure, I might be able to eventually suss out some meaning, but it's just as likely to be coincidence as legitimate understanding.

[-] Haui@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 year ago

I agree. I‘d use another example like butterfly swimming. It is achievable through training but unless you really have the time, physique and dedication it is futile. Same goes for autistic people being told to read the room. Most of us lack the required synapses (so to speak) and although we could probably get there by training, it is a skill we don’t need as much as we need to make ourselves food or clean the apartment which also some of us struggle with. So maybe, if we have spare time after learning the other stuff, our much needed downtime, if we feel like it (this is a nicely worded fuck off to the person telling us to learn it).

this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2023
64 points (78.1% liked)

Autism

6556 readers
7 users here now

A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.

We have created our own instance! Visit Autism Place the following community for more info.

Community:

Values

  • Acceptance
  • Openness
  • Understanding
  • Equality
  • Reciprocity
  • Mutuality
  • Love

Rules

  1. No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
  2. Posts must be related to autism, off-topic discussions happen in the matrix chat.
  3. Your posts must include a text body. It doesn't have to be long, it just needs to be descriptive.
  4. Do not request donations.
  5. Be respectful in discussions.
  6. Do not post misinformation.
  7. Mark NSFW content accordingly.
  8. Do not promote Autism Speaks.
  9. General Lemmy World rules.

Encouraged

  1. Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
  2. Funny memes.
  3. Respectful venting.
  4. Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
  5. Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
  6. Questions regarding autism.
  7. Questions on confusing situations.
  8. Seeking and sharing support.
  9. Engagement in our community's values.
  10. Expressing a difference of opinion without directly insulting another user.
  11. Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it. Chat Room
  • We have a chat room! Want to engage in dialogue? Come join us at the community's Matrix Chat.

.

Helpful Resources

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world