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Lead and Cadmium Could Be in Your Dark Chocolate - Consumer Reports
(www.consumerreports.org)
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I have to disagree, this was decent journalism. There was almost nothing on the history of chocolate so I don't understand your complaint there. And they have to briefly explain the dangers of heavy metal exposure at the beginning before discussing the levels; skipping that would be irresponsible.
But as a reader I already know most of that info, and it was easy to scroll right past to the actual product list. They show the measured levels with graphs and percentages, which to me was very clear and not just "lead and cadmium everywhere". They even highlight the products with safer levels and wrap up by covering ways the industry can solve the issue. I don't know what else you could ask for.
sigh I'm having a shitty, rough time lately. Turns out it was all neatly hidden behind some scripts that hadn't loaded and I didn't notice some reasonably subtle signs of "we can't display images or text without scripts" so I assumed it was all buried somewhere or just wasn't actually presented (in favour of "trust us, we found lots of DANGER in all dark chocolate").
Aw, okay. Well I'm glad you figured it out! Hope you're doing better soon.