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Okay Jesse, I don't have a rock slide in real life but I do have a gun
(startrek.website)
Humor, jokes, memes about TTRPGs
This is the kind of idea that makes a great joke character for a one shot but if you do it for a long term campaign I am pretty sure the DM is legally permitted to beat you with a nine pound salami.
The traditional English method is a large fish. It delivers a far more satisfying thunk, with less chance of bruising or permanent injuries.