739
Long Island's Sand Filled Condom
(startrek.website)
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Because red delicious are still common and if you are under 30 they have been trash your whole life because you were born AFTER the breeding programs that stripped its flavor. If you are over 40 you remember a stretch when they were good. If you are in your thirties it's going to be hit or miss.
They used to be remarkable but that's when they would not be entirely red.
I'm in my 50s and Red Delicious have always been tasteless and gritty.
Then you and your parents don't know how to select ripe apples.