No problem. Like, they literally have these tests (the name escapes my mind right now) in conservatories etc where you just, play and let loose, just improvise, not like a solo, just, play some shit along with the piece. I never really got good at reading music, but I understand all/most of the concepts transmitted and I always felt like I was dragging my feet trying to force myself to think more technically and analytically. Ever since I stopped I've written more songs and music much more amazing than I ever did before. Like I even go to lengths to avoid it and tune my string instruments into all these weird fucked up tunings so I don't even learn to rely on muscle memory, because it will happen - so I'll just find the sounds that are right.

Sure you can make songs at an amazing pace and sound like the fucking Beatles if you follow the circle of fifths and stuff, but the soul of it is somewhere completely else in my opinion. You can hear it, you feel it when it's right. Follow that intuition and fuck the rest. There's a threshold in music theory up to which, if you learn (and you absolutely don't have to) can help you - basic concepts: what are intervals, scales and the very basics of how chords are formed, but really you play with your ears.

If you think about some of the most amazing musicians, they started with shitty broken down instruments. Like with blues, people literally started with just a goddamn wire strung up on a piece of wood with two nails and they'd become some of the most amazing players in the world. Or players literally growing up playing with a guitar that has just a couple of strings and when they got good enough their teacher gave them a guitar with all six. You don't need all that bullshit to play and be great or let alone enjoy yourself and the music you make. All you need is a fucking string nailed to a board and creativity. Let it fly. Follow that intuition.

Sorry for these walls of text I'm not on mobile.

e: I'm sorry I can't give you a link right now, but I highly recommend looking up people, kids, literally kids from like Africa, there's plenty on Youtube, that are playing on instruments they literally whittled from shitty pieces of wood with like, knives or something that play these shitty instruments they made, better than anyone you know. Instruments that absolutely "sound like crap" with probably fingers filled with splinters when people who have had great instruments for all their life couldn't carry a tune to save their life, because you can find a good sound and tone and touch from even the worst instruments. And don't let it be disheartening, let it be a testament to the raw power of creativity and imagination, because that's what it is. Creativity manifesting itself in it's purest form!