A Regular Day In The Life Of The American

You wake up in the morning to the sound of your padded alarm clock going off. You remove your one thin sheet, after all, it could suffocate someone if air couldnt pass through it. You think about when it used to be legal to use pillows, those were good days.

As you start to get ready for school, you begin to tape your pants together, as is tradition since belts got banned. You pull your shirt on and the fibers get stuck in your beard that you havent been able to shave in years.

You walk the several miles to school, and think to yourself that the air smells a lot better since all vehicles were banned. Your teacher starts to tell you to take out your pencils, until she remembers. She must not've gotten enough sleep last night. You shrug, it has been cold this winter.