I totally know what you mean! I talked about this too and it was like no one understood me, I had a therapist who even looked at me funny when i said it.... My identity was so tied up in drinking and alcohol. I was a bartender, worked in a wine shop... the clothes i picked, the jokes i made... so much of who i was was tied up in alcohol. I had to create a new identity. The good news is i realized that old identity was just made up, so i could make up a new one. The bad news is making up a new identity comes with a lot of trial and error. I had no identity, as a child my identity was only allowed to be what my parents approved of. Alcohol allowed me to create one they didn't approve of and not care how they felt about it. My task in creating a sober identity was to learn to what i love and not care about how the world felt about me doing that... it was hard, i felt dumb a lot, but it was worth it..... the new me gardens a lot, meditates, drinks tea, plays the piano, the violin, the mandolin and the guitar. He reads a lot of books, goes on hikes once or twice a week, lifts weights, does yoga, where's really funny clothing and doesn't drink no matter what.