this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2023
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I've seen this dual-life . You are struggling and no one helps you. You learn all the skills to help yourself. Now you know what you need and... you can't give it to yourself. Someone else needs to understand you too.
I still get stuck here sometimes, but I have to say this got better for me with age and effort (as in, introspection, therapy, etc). I recognized that for me, it was partially executive dysfunction and partially trauma symptoms. The former was addressed with medicine and creating systems (which i would not be able to do without the medicine), and the latter is still being addressed and will probably be a lifelong journey.
Sorry, I'm rambling here - what you said brought up a lot.
Don't worry about it. I appreciate your ramble :)
It helps to get thoughts out and it helps other people to hear those thoughts; especially if those thoughts echo their own. What you're saying is my reality too.
It helps to feel seen.
Hell yes. Thank you.
When it comes to tidyness, specifically in my case my room is immaculate (usually). The rest of my apartment looks like shit. I can only clean up after the other 2 people I live with so much before I just can't take it anymore. It's their fucking mess. They should grow the fuck up and pick up after themselves.
I don't need them to understand me. I need them to help take care of the place and stop only contributing to fucking it up.
I feel you. My office is neat and organized, because there is a lock on the door. The rest of my house is a fucking nightmare because my wife and son destroy it on a daily basis and rarely do anything about it and I’ve burnt out on doing it all myself. So my office is my neat happy place and they can wallow in the rest of the house
Yeah my wife has diagnosed OCD and if it cant be instagram perfect, whats the point? So I exist in a house that looks like earth in Wall-e because she knows where everything is and in what layer of what pile and if I move it I'm a colossal asshole.
I literally kept a better house when I was an alcoholic shift working single 20 something and she cant fathom why I become a moody asshole living like this.
I am intimately familiar with the pile. And the person whom this pile belongs to claims it's helpful to them, and yet they can never find any of their shit and blame everyone else for taking things they simply misplaced because instead of using the organizing tools available, they insist on being a cluttered pig. We both have ADHD and ASD; yet I am able to work around my problems around organization and mindfulness at least by some degree because I work at coping with the issues I have while they simply use it as an excuse to be messy or annoying.