It took me a bit after graduating to realize that college had reinforced my bad work habits. I just piled on more and more stress and didn't know how to deal with it beyond pushing myself too far. It worked well in a punctuated semester system, but not so much at an actual job. Not to mention it was horrible for my mental health.

And the only coping mechanic I learned in college was drinking, which is a horrible coping mechanism. I didn't know how else to handle stress, so when the pandemic broke all of us, I drowned my anxiety and worries. It was when I went through an entire 2L of soda in one night as mixer (for heavy poured drinks) that I knew I had to cut back.

Looking back, it always felt like I was chasing something while drinking after graduating, that I could never find. I don't think it was the alcohol that helped me cope so much in college as it was the socializing and the company. It could never replicate that feeling because it was the people who made it enjoyable.