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And this is why I fear Cthulhu
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this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
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Putting aside for the moment the fact that psychedelics are essentially just causing your brain to [temporarily] malfunction, this description eerily resembles the post-trip phase of psychedelics. You come back from essentially getting your blindfolds taken from you, seeing the world in ways that make sense only during the psychedelic trip, and even then it's all overwhelming, only to come back and question just about EVERYTHING about reality. It's been 3 years and I'm still going down the quantum physics/cosmology rabbit hole (as well as the philosophy and metaphysics rabbit holes, thanks exurb1a), all due to a strong bad LSD trip. It's beautiful, it's expanded my knowledge of things, but it is, indeed, very much like madness.
I've experienced LSD a few times and Mushrooms once. They are subtly different but I like to lean into the difficulty of the experience (when or if it starts to go that way). I feel like I'm being taught something important and doing so has been beneficial. To me it feels like a death and rebirth experience. I'm not foolish enough to think it's the answer to my problems, but boy does it ever shine a light on things! For me, they bring me back to being a kid, experiencing everything with wonder and curiosity. It's a breath of fresh air because I spent my young adult life trying to "grow up" by trying to fit into everyone else's expectation if what adult means. It made me realize I am individual as well as connected to the human race and I should enjoy and embrace that.
Honestly, even bad trips are good trips. The trip I reference in my post (500ug LSD + cannabis during the peak for added mindfuckery) was, by all means, a bad trip that left me with PTSD and on at least one occasion I had a panic attack during a work call, where reality felt a bit too much. Not something I enjoyed, but even then I could appreciate that it had changed me for the better. I got a lot of my shit together after that trip and I appreciate life a lot more than I used to. I was fat, single (and had been all 28 years of my life), had no aim in life, had no hobbies, no appreciation for leaving my room at all or interacting with people in real life. Today I proposed to my girlfriend of two years, I do photography as a hobby and actively try to go out and appreciate the world around me, reached my target body weight, vastly increased my social life, and I am paving the road to a life I desire to live. Not everything is perfect, and maybe I am attributing too much to the trip and not enough to simple aging and maturing through that time, but there was a stark before and after for me. As far as I'm concerned it's been the most positively life changing event in my life that I absolutely cannot recommend anyone in my life to ever try.
My thoughts exactly. I treasure the experience but I could never recommend it to anyone as it hits everyone different. The best I could say to someone considering it is that you better be willing to confront yourself and your most difficult feelings.
I'm happy to hear that it was a net positive for you that's wonderful.
The ego death many experience can really teach us a lot. The self replicating machine elves found by doing DMT offer a totally different perspective too.