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how's your week going, Beehaw
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this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2023
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Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.
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The final chapter of the university group project: I went on strike last week, which forced the two lazy people to realise they had better do some work. As a result, the project was completed in time, and the teacher was actually very impressed with it. Apparently it's the best production he's seen in the last five years, and so it's going to be entered into a few competitions. The other team's project, which was nice but unambitious, was not deemed competition-worthy. My extensive logs of the process, particularly of one team member's laziness, arrogance, and wilful obstruction of the project, have been submitted, as has my evaluation of each team member (a project requirement). Two positive, one neutral, one civil but strongly negative. I happen to know one of the other hard workers on the team was much harsher than I on the guy who obstructed the project.
And my cat didn't make it. That was actually more than a week ago, but it's been painful. I miss her. She was still young and should have had many more years of life, and people saying things like "I'm sorry" and "you did your best" just make me angry.
I've lost two animals early: my dog, Sparrow, about 10 years ago, who succumbed to chronic kidney disease that we didn't even know he had until his kidneys went into failure, and my cat, Gus, last year who got a hold of something toxic (he had a habit of eating silicone and foam products, and despite our best effort to ban those products from the house or hide them if they were necessary, he still found something) and also went into kidney failure.
The worst part about both of them was knowing that there would come a time when their absence felt more normal than their presence. When you invite a companion into your life, make them your family, their loss can feel like a death of self, especially when it's early and unexpected. I found myself resenting the idea of becoming a person who isn't enduringly devastated by that loss, as painful as it is.
For better or worse I have reached that stage for both of them. But I also still think of them both often. I can still feel the twisty fur behind Sparrow's ears (he was a border collie mix) in my fingers. I can still feel the pressure in my chin where Gus would would dig in for a face rub. I am still capable of devastation over their loss, but I find the devastation comforting, and welcome it warmly.
Thanks for this.
I had lost another cat a few months ago, but he was elderly and had been struggling with a chronic illness for almost 2 years, so it wasn't a surprise when he reached the point that it was time to say goodbye. And although I loved him, I didn't have quite such a strong bond with him. So I was sad when he died, but it wasn't as devastating as this.
I've never had such a strong connection with a pet until my little girl. I suppose it's kind of... fitting that the very first time we met, she fell asleep upside down in my lap, and that was how she left life as well.