this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2024
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It's fine to not want to date someone with an onlyfans, but I feel like the guys who go out of their way to say it usually have other red flags about
Basically men who: —
Could never get a woman that hot
Get jealous easily
Don't like women having agency over their sexuality
Don't like women having agency over themselves full stop
Right I don't see where you get the ability to mindread people nor guilt people into being in a relationship that they don't want to be in.
I just ask that people realize what I realize, which is it's an issue with ME that I'm not secure enough to be with a person who I can see having sex with someone else. I cannot control my feelings but I am responsible for them, or at the very least, other people are not responsible for them(at least in this example anyway it's not as if the of model was having sex with other people AT me.)
It's ok to be monogamous :)
Oh absolutely, I dont feel bad about that. But the feeling I get thinking about being with someone who does that kind of stuff is exactly a feeling of insecurity. It's fine and normal, same way its normal to have a little anxiety or a little depression. In healthy doses it's essentially just personality traits, but to me those feeling stem from insecurity. Perhaps it's even innate and not something to be 'fixed' but it still feels like insecurity to me. But I'm realizing that I suppose I can only speak for myself here.
Except insecurity the word is used always as a pejorative.
It doesn't have to. Same with anxiety, alone no one's going to think the word itself is good, yet a healthy dose of anxiety is simply awareness.
It isn't about what you think it should mean it matters how people use it.