I mean you’re right but your expectations on political freedom are indeed unrealistic in the current order.

I agree that it's unrealistic, and it's sad that having good democracy is seen as unrealistic. The thing is, I'm not going to back down on my desires for a better democracy, since it feels more achievable to me compared to other issues I care about, such as stopping the climate from collapsing. I know that a lot of other democracies are struggling, but I don't feel that a representative democracy has enough resilience to withstand abuse when the powers that be are accountable for only one day every 2-6 years.

As for your second paragraph, I'd love to get rid of first past the post voting, it's a good thing IMO. I'm not fully on board with a proportional representation, I do think it's one of the best schemes. I know it would give a voice to some truly fascistic groups, but I hope the pros of having real leftist groups could outweigh that, but whether or not it would happen, IDK.

The left still struggles immensely and seems kind of bewildered. Our alt right party just keeps growing.

As an american, I see the same thing here. I get that there is a rise in fascism everywhere, and what I have seen in other places, such as italy, is terrifying.

In the US, there is a history of left wing oppression and infiltration, such as COINTELPRO, and I know that for some groups, especially older groups that have gone through it, there's a lot of paranoia and disorganization that comes from that. Even harmless groups like Food Not Bombs have had some organizational problems caused by COINTELPRO. I just hope someone smarter than me will be able to figure things out, since I've got no ideas on how to organize in the face of this shit.