Not only will a bidet save you on toilet paper, but you will actually feel like you have a clean butt after pooping. Initially it feels weird, but after you get used to it, you won't want to poop without it.
BTW in case you are wondering: yes, you still need toilet paper to wipe the water off. But it is a small amount.
How well do they work?
Pretty good! The ones with the sharp bend are better than the straighter ones.
Fill it up with warm water before you poop for comfortable washing action.
No more wiping a permanent marker.
You do you, but that sounds a little extra. Unless it's for your hotel room or something.