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this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2024
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It’s never been an issue.
Do most people date by messaging random women on Facebook these days? Am I that out of touch?
Or is the implication that women have “posts pictures of their food online” as a requirement for considering dating someone? If so, who would want to date someone that shallow?
Maybe I’m just old, but I feel like I’m missing something here.
A point that came up in another discussion (elsewhere on Lemmy) is that it can be scarier for women to not find anything about a person that they're meeting for the first time (ex. From a dating app). So if they had to pick between someone who has a presence and someone who has no information, the presence would help.
This doesn't apply to people that you meet in person through work/school/activities or long term friendships
I love the irony of stalking people to make sure they’re not creepy.
stalking is only creep if a man does it.
Curated information isn't really any better than not knowing anything unless the person is too stupid to curate their history. I guess it filters out morons, who should be easy enough to filter out with a quick interaction.
Yes, I also saw a lot of discussion about this on Reddit's askmen. If you don't have a social media presence some women think it's creepy. It seems like the dystopia marches on. My 12 year old son thinks social media is poison and is unlikely to ever use it. I am concerned about how this will affect him in both dating and future employment.
Whats creepy is wanting/expecting to be able to see a detailed history of someone’s social interactions over the past decade or more. To me, that’s in the same category as someone putting a tracking device on the underside of my car and calling me creepy for removing it. How about maybe don’t be an insane stalker? But I’m from the days of “never use your real identity” being the first rule of the internet.
"It's different when a woman is investigating a man" is what they'll unironically say.
Personally I think the concern is a little overblown
I'm around the university aged crowd, and a good number of people have minimal social media. For a lot of people, especially those that aren't in business / CS, it might be hard to find them online unless they have a unique name or they have a close up photo as their profile (and you know what they look like).
So yes it does likely make things harder in some cases (meeting online), but I don't think it's that bad overall. This might be specific to my location, and maybe the culture is different in other big cities
Also it's possible to have a presence without social media
On the other hand I wouldn't take what reddit says as having too much weight.
Well that goes with anything online.
Most people at least look up the name of someone they are going to date on social media, or google them to make sure they aren't an axe murderer, or whatever. Not having a Facebook or whatever isn't a problem, but the lack of info is. There's also plenty of stuff that people can let out on social media that you might want to know about, like racist stuff.
A friend of mine dated a compulsive liar. They didn't have any social media cause it would have made some of their lies obvious. That kind of thing is why some people see the lack of social media as an " orange flag".
Shallow indeed. You can be rejected for being seen having an Android phone. It's wild out there.
women seach your socials as a 'background check'.