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submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by Verto@r.nf to c/askmeanything@lemmy.ca

Disclaimer: like most pedophiles, I have never approached a child with anything sexual or otherwise inapporpriate, and I don't plan ever to do so. I recognize the harm in such actions, and I don't want to hurt the very people I love. If you expect AMA with a child molester, this ain't it.

The account is a throwaway, hope you'll understand this decision given the sensitivity of the topic.

Edit: Thank you for keeping civil and genuine in your questions. I did envision hostility, yet here you are, amazing as always. Lemmy is a wonderful place to be, thanks to you all!

Edit 2: Apparently we have another brave pedophile here in the comments, and he came with a good note I should include in the post: if you find yourself attracted to minors, that's okay. Acting on your desires is dangerous, but having them isn't. If you'd like to have some support and/or community that would help you get your bearings or just listen without any prejudice (we're all in the same boat), there are places that can help you. Visit VirPed (18+) or MAP Support Club (13+; scroll down for details), or refer to other resources through the MAP Resources website.

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[-] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 5 points 8 months ago

In your opinion, would you call pedophiles supposed rich visitors of Epshtein island or is it something else?

Do you have a favorite trick to abstain from urges?

Do you have problems while having sex with a mature partner?

What do you think of the recent scandals with AI generating CSAM-like?

Was there a book or a movie that made a huge impact on you?

[-] Verto@r.nf 9 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I'm honestly not super informed on Epstein drama, but if I recall correctly, he hosted minors in the age range of 15+ or something, which would constitute ephebophilia in case age is big part of it. Some people abuse children not because they are primarily attracted to them, but because they are just physically easier to abuse - however, given the power and influence many of those visitors have, I doubt they're deprived of adults willing to do it all to them, so probably that is their preference and they are ephebophiles.

I don't really force myself to abstain from urges; as a teen, I visualized the outcome and consequences (including outing) and realized if I'll ever do that I'll probably lose any future contact with children I know and trust of their parents (even if I won't go to jail due to being minor myself at the time). Currently, I don't have to "abstain from urges", I just feel it super inappropriate on an emotional level, like an immediate emotional aversion countering emotional passion.

I'm lucky to be highly attracted to adult partners. In an ideal world, I would have both, but yeah, one side of it leads to suffering and trauma, so I'm left in heartache on that front (but enjoying the other, adult side of things). Many pedophiles and generally minor-attracted people are not so lucky.

For AI CSAM I think, when properly controlled and reasonably walled from minors (some will find it anyway, but it should be matter of determination rather than stumbling upon it), as well as when meaningfully different from real imagery (so that you couldn't confuse the two), it could actually be very good and positive, preventing many from going for a real CSAM. I envision it can prevent a lot of suffering related to child exploitation, and it will be a positive development for pedophiles and minor-attracted people in general, too.

Out of books that featured children, probably The Book Thief. It's a very powerful and emotional book as it is, but for a person who low-key fell in love with Liesel and got adored by Rudy, this has hit me hard. I generally recommend it as a very worthy read. As per what everyone may wonder - Lolita - it didn't impress me nearly as much, especially by trying to make the reader feel compassionate to a sick man who sees little problem in what he does, even when it crosses the line of abuse even by adult standards. It does capture some of the features of attractive young girls well, though.

[-] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 2 points 8 months ago

I should've rephrased the first question. On Epstein, I was more about the difference of calling a person attracted to minors a pedophile\ephebophile and those who did abused a minor even if they weren't psychologically attracted. My own assumption is that for these rich people it was both a taboo thing they can afford and also a way to get a compromat on each other to sign their loyalty to each other. Should media and public assume they were attracted by default, or we should use abuser\molester before some psychological examination?

Thanks for taking your time. Interesting perspective, completely foreign to me.

[-] Verto@r.nf 4 points 8 months ago

Ah. Well, as I said, merely abusing a child doesn't constitute an attraction, you're right on that. There is plenty of non-pedophilic child abusers (in fact, those constitute about half of all cases for sexual abuse of minors), just as there's plenty of pedophiles who never touched a child.

Constituting an attraction is therefore a separate task involving complicated equipment and testing methods.

this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2024
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