Thanks for the link! I was gonna add it later, as VirPed answers limited amount of questions. But it's an invaluable resource allowing to see one question from the perspectives of different pedophiles and minor attracted people.
It absolutely should!
We absolutely need more therapy programs for minor-attracted people, more of the competent therapists, less social stigma (and please, stop calling child molesters pedophiles and child abuse pedophilia, that's not helpful and not true!), and probably softer reporting laws, too.
For example, reporting past offences may bring more harm than good, scaring off those who want to change. Similar with the consumption of CSAM - it is bad, but reporting it leads to people not being able to talk about it directly, which hurts prevention efforts, exacerbating the issue. Etc.
I'm honestly impressed by the latter too, but I guess that's the magic of Lemmy. I knew one person who tried to spin the conversation on Reddit, and it didn't go so well.
I know pedophilia is something many people think exists somewhere in the dark, but that's more the reason to put it out in the light, as meaningful conversations on the topic are crucial - not only for the acceptance of many of those who did nothing wrong, but also for the safety of children, as stigma around the issue is one of the reasons many of us can't get help that would be very handy, especially for those (still) on the verge.
I appreciate any feedback, including your one. Hit me up with any questions later should you come up with any!
I'm honestly not super informed on Epstein drama, but if I recall correctly, he hosted minors in the age range of 15+ or something, which would constitute ephebophilia in case age is big part of it. Some people abuse children not because they are primarily attracted to them, but because they are just physically easier to abuse - however, given the power and influence many of those visitors have, I doubt they're deprived of adults willing to do it all to them, so probably that is their preference and they are ephebophiles.
I don't really force myself to abstain from urges; as a teen, I visualized the outcome and consequences (including outing) and realized if I'll ever do that I'll probably lose any future contact with children I know and trust of their parents (even if I won't go to jail due to being minor myself at the time). Currently, I don't have to "abstain from urges", I just feel it super inappropriate on an emotional level, like an immediate emotional aversion countering emotional passion.
I'm lucky to be highly attracted to adult partners. In an ideal world, I would have both, but yeah, one side of it leads to suffering and trauma, so I'm left in heartache on that front (but enjoying the other, adult side of things). Many pedophiles and generally minor-attracted people are not so lucky.
For AI CSAM I think, when properly controlled and reasonably walled from minors (some will find it anyway, but it should be matter of determination rather than stumbling upon it), as well as when meaningfully different from real imagery (so that you couldn't confuse the two), it could actually be very good and positive, preventing many from going for a real CSAM. I envision it can prevent a lot of suffering related to child exploitation, and it will be a positive development for pedophiles and minor-attracted people in general, too.
Out of books that featured children, probably The Book Thief. It's a very powerful and emotional book as it is, but for a person who low-key fell in love with Liesel and got adored by Rudy, this has hit me hard. I generally recommend it as a very worthy read. As per what everyone may wonder - Lolita - it didn't impress me nearly as much, especially by trying to make the reader feel compassionate to a sick man who sees little problem in what he does, even when it crosses the line of abuse even by adult standards. It does capture some of the features of attractive young girls well, though.
Thank you! It means a lot.
That being said, I had one free session with a competent specialist once. Unfortunately, I cannot afford their help, but this one session was already very transformative, as it was the first time I was accepted, face to face, by someone who is not attracted to minors themselves. Got me through a lot of emotions then.
I hope we'll have more of it, and I strongly believe a more understanding culture would be beneficial for everyone - including children who'll be more safe.
I had special interest in younger children since I was about 9 - but back then I wouldn't call it attraction, I just felt very comfortable being around kids aged 3-7 (I developed normally and was perfectly alright around peers, there was just something warm about being with younger ones)
But if we talk straight up attraction, it sparked when I was about 13, was initially to the boys on the countryside and was predominantly sexual (and remained predominantly sexual for boys ever since). But then girls qickly caught my eye too, and I felt all sort of attraction to them - sexual, romantic, platonic...you name it. It was not porn that started this, although in my early years of pedophilia I did find some of the CSAM (not illegal in my country even for adults to watch, although since about 15-16 I do not do it out of moral side of things)
The two issues are poorly linked, and experience of other pedophiles and generally minor-attracted people is very often strongly negative.
Unfortunately, a lot of therapists, even LGBTQ+ friendly ones (no strangers to non-traditional attractions, huh?) are completely unequipped to deal with the issue and can make it much worse.
The post is genuine, this is not a joke.
Yes, I regularly participate in studies related to attractions one may have for minors, and I participate in communitites that, among other things, share research opportunities. I call every pedophile or generally minor-attracted person to do the same - you can start with something like VirPed or MAP Support Chat, both of which list those, and then find a place for you (I won't list other, smaller communities I love in fear of brigading; I know those two manage the issue well)
I was out to my long-term partners, and the effect was, as you would expect, always negative, although always on a softer side, like partners getting more irritable and bitter with anything regarding children when I'm around. Sure enough, parenting question was off the table.
I had different approaches to "the talk", from straight up saying "I'm a pedophile" and managing reactions to going carefully and mentioning I like children in a special way, but never had the active intent to do something due to it. The latter works better, but doesn't solve everything.
I'm exclusive for boys (pedo range) and non-exclusive for girls (pedo to teleio range, although less hebe, those moody brats are freaking me out :D).
Pedophilia in itself doesn't have much impact on me besides being a great help when someone needs me to take kids out of adult table for evening talks (I much prefer children company anyways). The societal attitudes, however, added a lot of mental strain indeed. I'm still very much unsure if I'll ever be able to pull off such thing as a family due to how my partner might react (and I feel very uncomfortable and threatened keeping it inside from a person who would rightfully be extremely angry should they find out the father of their kids is a pedophile), and family is the most valuable thing and the highest priority I have in life. I also hate that I have to be generally reserved and not participate in a lot of things (like, idk, assisting in a child summer camps or educational groups for children or whatnot), because this can also be seen very negatively by my future partner (as seen by past partners being uncomfortable with the idea).
Aside from that, I hate keeping it behind closed doors and it hurts a lot when people say something like "all those pedophiles deserve to die" or comparing pedophiles to child molesters without me being able to say much against it or at least direct them to the goddamn Wikipedia. And it happens A LOT.
Luckily, I have never been outed, and can't speak for that experience.
I'm currently not seeing a therapist even though I'd like to - it's nearly impossible to find a competent specialist in my area, and it's getting harder as time goes on.
Therapy available online is completely unaffordable, with some specialist charging upwards to $200 for a session. That's, like, half my monthly income (I live in not-so-rich country).
Take your time! The issue is sensitive, it's alright to be a little baffled.
At first, there was a lot of frustration involved in this for me, but currently I'm simply mentally incapable of crossing the line. I just get instant aversion on the thought of making this a reality - similar, in some ways, to violent thoughts someone normal might have. (you might imagine yourself killing someone that made you super angry, but you're not gonna actually do this, are you?)
As per being angry at the world, I certainly get that sometimes. Having such attractions, even when you have "normal" ones too, is certainly living on hard mode. But then, there are many others with their own issues and their own struggles we know nothing about. Plenty of people were treated poorly by the merciless reality.