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The most "European mind cannot comprehend this" thing around
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A virtual community
Posts from Mastodon users, featured natively in a community, so you can view them without the need for them to be re-hosted or screenshoted, and reply to the original author and Mastodon respondents if you wish.
Has so far included content from Warsandpeas, Mr. Lovenstein, SMBC, Loading Artist, Low Quality Facts, nixCraft, ElleGray, and other interesting or provocative stuff I've random'd across on Mastodon.
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Have a medical problem in Europe at an inconvenient time? See an emergency doctor, get a prescription, visit an emergency pharmacy, pay a deductible amount, get your medication.
For the coffee before 10am thing: Bakers and shops open at around 6 to 7am and there is a thing called 24-hour petrol station.