The subscription, like HP’s recent ad campaign promoting its printers as “made to be less hated,” trades on the idea that printers are frustrating commodities. The company’s configurator page mentions bonuses like “continuous printer coverage” and “next-business-day printer replacement,”

Our printers are unreliable pieces of absolute shit guys. But if you do the subscription we'll replace your shitty broken rental printer next day. Never worry that you can't print when you need to print. Mindblowing.

Just make reliable printers that work, dumbasses.