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this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2023
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Relaxed section for discussion and debate that doesn't fit anywhere else. Whether it's advice, how your week is going, a link that's at the back of your mind, or something like that, it can likely go here.
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We all have different lived experiences and it’s very apparent here haha.
Even now after you telling me that you had good experiences there, it still baffles me how you managed to avoid all the extremists and have a generally positive overall experience.
I can’t even fathom that. Every time I interacted I got at least a Reddit Cares automatic suicide message and pretty nasty personal attacks and lots of people “questioning” my masculinity as if it was some intrinsic quantifiable substance.
Same thing in any gaming lobby I’ve been in with voice chat.
I’m not saying that it’s inherently human for things to break down. Im saying that I don’t believe it’s possible for there to be an open anonymous forum or place for dudes specifically where it doesn’t revolve into a bunch of nastiness. I wanna be proven wrong. Desperately. I’ve never experienced otherwise in my life.
Reddit as a whole was an absolute cesspool, I don't deny that. But some of us were lucky enough, through lots and lots of searching and trial and error and weeding out of bad eggs, to find a few places where we felt welcomed and accepted without judgment.
I'm sorry that you never did!
Luckily, I think Beehaw and Blahaj are doing an admirable job, and I'm happy to be a part of it!
Just chiming in that my experience has been similar to each of yours (you, and @Vestria ) in those kinds of spaces. There is the potential for truly positive social interaction even in anonymous dudespace but highly granular mod tools are necessary. Really, those tools are necessary in semi-anonymous and real name internet spaces too, and lemmy hasn't got that specificity in mod and admin capabilities yet.
My interactions on Beehaw have convinced me that, once the mod/admin tools exist, it stands a great chance of being able to navigate the hosting of such a community with few/er of the seemingly inherent nasty tendencies. For what it's worth, I'm one of the mods who was a vote against forming it before the tools we need are in place, and I'd volunteer to mod it if/when it gets created.