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this post was submitted on 11 Apr 2024
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No Stupid Questions
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No such thing. Ask away!
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I'm in physical pain reading this
Why? You're disappointed with the explanation? Disagree with it? Or you don't like its somewhat informal tone? I thought it was well written, enjoyed the information / humor, and can respect the explanation.
Literally the only thing this comment manages to say is that its writer views women as objects, that women exist a status symbol for men, like bro he literally compares women to a gold bar in a glass box what the fuck do you mean hahahahaha. The most discouraging part out of all of this is that people here are agreeing with it.
I'm sorry it came of that way. It was not my intention. The gold bar part is perhaps a bit unfortunate. I was trying to illustrate and emphasise to the reader that doing anything carries a risk and that people of different regions and cultures have made different choices to manage those perceived risks based on their circumstances.
I believe people, more often than not, make choices out of practicality. Morals, religion, politics, fads, all come and go. "Hey, wife, those guys are staring, I know it's not convenient, but can you cover up" has probably been said by males partners pretty consistently over the years.
The word steal might have been a bad choice too, now that I think about it. Perhaps kidnap would have also worked.
I think a really important part in this is that in a situation where other men are leering at someone's wife, the better response is to address the behaviour of the men, and not to ask her to cover up, because effectively what this does is shift the responsibility of their bad behaviour onto her. I get what you're saying that many cultures are patriarchal, but it's really important to be critical of what we're raised to believe, and unlearn as much as we can, rather than continuing the cycle.
I agree. I think that is where we are heading. In societies with high quality of life and high standard of eduction, it is already an expectation. Unfortunately there are places today, that are still somewhat mediaeval.
To clarify; the reason why males might have initially made these requests of their partners is, I reason, insecurity and perhaps fear. Imagine you live in a society where you can not expect protection from anyone except maybe your own family. You find yourself in that threatening situation. Your choices of what to do about it are limited. From the perspective of both the victim and her husband. If most peoples choice are the same, it might become a norm and part of the culture, eventually. You can imagine how the resulting behaviour would probably have been supported by both sexes. Because they feel safer. Because it's practical and easy. With time it becomes pointless. But it's culture. It's tradition and somehow valued on that merit alone.
If I were to find myself in that situation, today, I might have told my wife "let's leave". My choices in that moment are still limited. Of course I can report the incident to authorities and what not, after the fact. That sucks for me. It probably sucked even harder 12k years ago.
I have never found myself in this situation, but I can imagine it. And I think my wife would cover up, not because she wants to, but because it makes her feel safe. That is not great. That is not an argument for bad behaviour. Thankfully we generally feel safe where we live.
I think any Lemmy users who would downvote you for this should take some time and look inward.