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this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2023
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Software can be very helpful for all sorts of situations. However, that doesn’t mean you get to abdicate all responsibility.
The person you are responding to is simply noting that kids are not stupid and often find ways to get around parental controls. There are also ways for content to get around controls while complying with controls. It’s unfortunate Apple’s software is buggy, it should be better.
Kids will definitely try to get around it. I'd be disappointed if they didn't. It is a bit of an arms race, but having spent 30 years in IT, I'm up to the task. My only point is that using the tools at your disposal doesn't make you a bad parent. Arguing with your kids every 10 minutes doesn't make you a good one either.
No one said using tools available makes someone a bad parent. They said only blindly using these tools without doing more makes a bad parent.
No idea how arguing with your kids every 10 minutes came up. Has nothing to do with anything anyone is saying so I’m assuming that is coming from a personal place. Perhaps you’ve over invested in tooling at the sake of healthy, non-confrontational conversation, I don’t know. No one brought this aspect up, but you.
Constantly arguing with your kids is the method being used if you don't use parental controls. Especially as they get older and actually need technology to do their school work and to be contactable when they are out and about. I've tried it, and it's not very effective at all.
What if I told you lots of people can figure out how to educate their kids without arguing? Don’t get me wrong, kids and teenagers love to argue. However, not all of us use “constantly arguing with our kids” as a parenting method. Some of us have patience and learn to talk to our kids before using a tool to try to force the situation. I could go on, but you’re allowed to be the parent you want to be.
I know it's possible. I'd just prefer to spend my energy on higher value discussions than constantly harping on about screen time.
You are entitled to that preference.