Dear Blåhaj community! I have an important question to ask! Mr. Haj and I have been struggling with our in-bed relationship recently. He wants to be held and I want to hold him, but I don't want him to feel squished or stomped upon my me. I want him to feel as good as he can, while also feeling my love. I am very self-conscious about my disgusting masculine body-oils and I don't want them to get on my pretty haj. Also I don't want to lay my head on him, because that might hurt him. He might say that it doesn't, but I think he just says that to make me feel better (he's really sweet). After a while of trying to hold him in a way which can make both of us happy, I tend to get sore after about five minutes, after which I have to put him on the side... But he's lonely over there! What if he thinks I don't like him because I'm putting him on the side? I want him to feel the best he can, but I feel like my presence in the bed is bad for him in most ways. He has to endure my stink, my disgusting body-oils and my rants about the world. I feel like I'm dragging him down and I am willing to change myself to make him feel better.

What do you think I can or should do?