this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2024
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Hold on. Apologies for being out of the loop, but do people really bring sexual fetish stuff to a pride parade?
And if so, what does that have to do with LGBTQ+?
Imho there are two angles to this question:
I'd also advocate for including neurodivergences under the queer brand too for instance.
Also don't forget the historic aspect -- when queerness was viewed as sexually deviant and perverted, it was the kink community that stood by us. Just because we've evolved to be socially acceptable doesn't mean we should leave everyone else behind
Define more problematic sex clubs
I don't know why it sticks in my head but I read an article many years ago written by a straight cis woman who kept on showing up to a gay male leather BDSM club and chatting up a storm. One night one of the guys there tells her off causing her to write an article about how they were anti-woman to her. And from there she derived a general principle that male homosexuals hated women.
It's like dude, there is nothing for you there, it's their space not your space, if you showed up to my D&D table each week commenting and not playing I might do the same eventually. Also you know it is BDSM you should expect people into that to not exactly be super polite at all times. It's quite literally a kink around inflicting consensual pain on each other, not exactly a grandma's quilting circle.
I think it sticks in my head because I felt like she was trying to provoke something, was successful at it, and now that she was hurt she must be right about her preconceived homophobia.
I felt the same way initially, just because I hadn't really been exposed to it prior, and had a lot of misgivings. I found Kat Blaque's video on the subject quite helpful just in giving context -- well worth a watch!
FetLife is a relatively respected kink social media platform. It's not about hooking up (though that certainly happens, just like on any online platform - hell, I knew people that later married that met in EQ). From my limited experience there, it's mostly about making everyone feel less ostracized. Of course, they have to have very explicit rules about consent, or that turns into a predator's playground - but again, that's true of any social media platform.