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Imagine apartments built into what used to be department stores, (Oh, you're JC Penny 203? I'm at Sears 106). Get those old arcades up and running. Set up meal stations at the food court. Once people actually live there, stores will start to move back in.

If I'm unable to finish my life in my own home, that doesn't sound like a terrible option.

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[-] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Add a library

In the US? Lol. Certainly not a public library.

Would probably end up with like, "Sbarro™ Presents: The ~~Public~~ Library - an interactive replica of what a late 20th century library is thought to have looked like. Sponsored by *Nestlé Global™. Nestlé: The Good Food, Good Life Company" [yes apparently that's their actual slogan. ew]

"On your left, you will see the Children's section. Notice the abundance of sexually explicit "homoporn". These materials were created with the specific intent of homosexualizing straight young men. This section was a hotbed for degenerates of all types. As you can see, libraries would have drag queens and trans evangelists at each corner to harass normal hardworking folks and turning their kids queer (it's on their agenda). Similarly, Satanists would lurk in the shadows beckoning toward libtard parents who would willingly give their children to them in order to be sacrificed to Moloch to be drained of their ~~precious bodily fluids~~ adrenochrome, and their flesh ritualistically consumed in the massive labyrinthine tunnels connecting the basements of every non-chain pizza restaurant across this nation. Luckily, this is just a replica, so no need to be scared folks. Well of this. You should still be scared of the Jews"

Sorry I had to stop myself or I would have gone on forever lol. Got a little carried away there... For some reason your comment elicited some imagery of what a Snow Crash type world would look like if it were this current reality/timeline. Corporate owned, walled-off enclaves/exclaves, private roads, carrying a katana while delivering pizzas... Man what a book, might be time to re-read.

Edit: If i would have continued after the part about all locally owned pizza shop basements being connected by tunnels...

"Believe it or not, the evil doesn't stop there. I will give y'all a moment to sit down for this one... are you ready? OK. These dens of sin and debauchery were free of charge. I know, it's absolutely disgusting. To steal the money I made by myself without the aid of anyone else and to spend it on a place like this? Unthinkable. Different times, folks. Before the purges, of course.

Luckily for us, the evils of state-run libraries are a thing of the past! Only materials pre-approved by the Yum! Brands Ministry of Offensive Literature will appear on our shelves (until their contract runs out, at which time the free market will guide us to a new sponsor).

Now for today's interactive demonstration: As a parting gift, we're given you copies of the recent KFC™/Taco Bell™ Magazine bestseller, "The Fountainhead For Kidz: Ayn Rand is Ayn Rad!" everyone look under your seats! Oh, what's that? There are only 3 copies total, but there are 18 of you on this tour? What would John Galt do?"

"Please remember to visit one of our numerous high-fee ATMs on the way out to be sure you have enough cash before leaving, because if you can't afford the toll on the Nestlé 405 [yes, they own pretty much everything in this fictional scenario], , otherwise you will not be able to physically reach your home until you can pay. If you choose to use the road without paying, and you use the road anyway, it'll be only hours before the Nestlé/Yum Brands joint task force on toll enforcement come and break down your door (which you'll have to reimburse your landlord for) and shoot your endangered pet red panda to count as payment for the transgression of driving for free on a road...

Stupid brain... Stop.

this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2024
606 points (95.6% liked)

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