Ask Lemmy

Drugs

I overcame one of my hardest by doing more for myself, by myself, than I would have with her around. I gave up a lot to be with her, and after the break up, I decided to embrace the circumstances and strive for success despite her. I did it to prove that my life would have ended up worse with her than it turned out to be without her.

In my experience, it heals with time. Your job is to make that time as tolerable as possible. I've never experienced the kind of heartbreak that lasts potentially several months, but whenever it's happened to me, I just dive into watching a lot of tv series, movies, playing video games. Anything to distract myself from the pain. Eventually you'll start to get some perspective as time passes, and that's the point where you can stop distracting yourself and actually start accepting the situation.

Grindr's been a big help.

Talk with friends. Get some support and/or sympathy.

Direct my energy and attention to all the me things that got swept aside when I was with them. You have fewer distractions now. Go get those things done you've been putting off!

No clue. Doesn't really seem like there is a definitive solution...

I always wanted a life partner, someone I can share everything with, even back in my early teens. After the two very hard break-ups with my cheating ex girlfriends - one of the two relationships went on for almost a decade too and almost drove me into suicide, or worse - I decided to just not bother with relationships anymore, platonic or romantic. It's like I'm a magnet for abusive people and too gullible to handle them, since despite my jealousy that I kept eating up (which in hindsight was unfortunately always warranted and I should've listened to it) I tried to believe them, not wanting to lose them. So now I make sure I shut myself off from everyone to never fall for anyone ever again. What I can say, despite how much it hurts in the beginning, the pain itself will subside with time, so you should just give yourself that and as much as you need. Distractions can help in the intermediate period, but you will also want to make some room to properly process things. Otherwise it'll haunt you.

I use the Cave Johnson defense.

Love, Robot/Paris - Rain

It's a duet. The lead singers of the two bands used to date. They never publicly said this, but I suspect it was about their breakup, and how messy and complicated breaking up with someone you love can be.

Same as I deal with everything. Alcohol. Lots of it.

Booze and hookers

Listen to sad music, focus on hating myself for failure, self harm, drugs and booze.

Alcohol, food and isolate from everyone. Plus never trusting anyone.