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"I did not have sectional relations with that futon" -JD Vance, probably
quality pun
JD is a joke but that couch needs to calm down.
Yeah I was judging him harsh until I saw that
You should have seen her at couchella.
No arms were resting on her, if you know what I mean. Doilies off and everything
Print photos of different couches and mail them to any or all of these locations:
https://www.vance.senate.gov/office-locations/
Don’t forget to add little love notes. e.g., “Thinking of you 💋”
Bonus if it has a dolphin on it.
In his postage paid contribution return envelopes.
How would one go about acquiring such envelopes? Asking for a friend.
Gyatt damn boy, that couch is thicc
there's no way this guy makes it all the way to election lol
I predict he'll drop out, or be forced out, in 2 Scaramuccis
What's that in Trusses?
For our UK friends, 2 Scaramuccis is ~ 0.5 Trusses. It's a fairly precise unit of measure. For other international friends, this around 20-22 days.
Nice call back!
At first glance I read that as "erection", and tbf you're probably right either way lmao
On a side note, I'm out of the loop on the origins of the couch fucking gag, and am really not sure I want to look it up lol can anyone give me the gist (unless this meme is it, in which case, did someone set him up for this, or is it really just "horny loser confuses sofa for juicy rear"?)
Even the meme sites are better at clearing up misinformation now than most media, lol
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JD Vance having wrote in his book that he fucked a couch is misinformation originating from Twitter, but it is also Lemmy's shitpost trend of the month.
What made this one special is that AP retracted a fact check on it since it was published without meeting its guidelines and was trying to debunk the wrong question (It was debunking whether Vance fucked a couch instead of whether he wrote in his book that he did). But that fueled the fire to the stupidly hilarious chain of memes.
A random Twitter user made up some bullshit and then everyone thought it was funny and obsessively repeated it. I don't find it funny or helpful myself, though
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At this rate I'm thinking that applies to Trump as well, he looks ready to quit and run to Russia
That is what we said in Ohio when he was running for senate.
I took this meme too seriously
I despise Vance and Trump, the utmost trash of humanity, but this comes from a fake news. I used to see hate from fake news only from Republicans
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Who cares though?
I've fucked some more questionable things around my house.
That's not a very polite way of speaking about your wife.
I'm confused about all the couch fucking comments.
It's because of this.
Holy shit the end of that story makes it so much better hahahahah
Vance actually had sectional relations
Holy shit that's gold.
Nowhere in the book does that anecdote appear — and certainly not on the pages mentioned.
The "journalist" wrote the article without reading the book.
I mean, would you? First of all, it's far simpler to just do a ctrl-f on various keywords, like "couch", "sofa", or wink wink "LOVEseat". Secondly, they don't make nearly enough money to willingly poison their minds reading that absolute garbage.
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i feel like im out of the loop on this one
Some dude presented JD Vance original biography where he said he fucked a couch, it was then discredited, then more evidence was presented then discredited. But soon JD outes himself for googling Dolphin, women, fuck on Twitter. So dudes into some kinky shit.
Would you mind clarifying whether he googled "dolphin", "women", and "fuck" separately or if it was in one search term? One doesn't mean anything and one is really creepy
So he made a tweet of a screen shot like "that's enough internet" and it was like a video of a dolphin having sex with a women. The highlighted words on the screen were dolphin, women, sex. Meaning he googled something with those keywords combined. I'm sure he didn't google "Women not having sex" with a dolphin..
Ok so that in itself is weird. Let's also remember these project 2025 people want to ban pornography everywhere, so it could be him trying to find an example of extreme porn to be like "look at the stuff your children can find!"
Reminds me when we were at my nephews 9th birthday party and he wanted to show us all something in YouTube on his Xbox and the last three items in his search history were "boobs" "girl boobs" and "big girl boobs".
Kid learned an important lesson that day.
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she cute
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this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
633 points (97.5% liked)
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