Asklemmy

• I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

Sure sounds like something someone who's going to mail himself somewhere would say.

High protein, low fiber diet.

It's a real thing, pilots of U2 spy planes that needed to fly for ~18 hours straight without any possibility of pooping, needed to be on a special diet for a few days before a mission.

What exactly it consisted of I don't know, but this is the internet, so I'm sure it can be found. I suspect mainly beef. Maybe jerky?

I was here witnessing lemmy history being made and I will probably die of curiosity if we do not get an update. I do not have any tips. I just hope that you come back safe and sound.

You're going to end up needing a knife...

so this is where Lemmys lore began

Happy i switched over to lemmy in time to whitness this

It’s been 6 days since the original post. OP was 3 days out from the poopless leg of his trip. OP, I hope everything went according to plan!

Please update when back!

Aha! You are joining the circus!!!

Just wanted to say I was here for this.

And so it begins. This is where legends are made.

I was here for this post that will go down in Fediverse history.

Remember to bring the poo knife

Avoid fiber like plague

Just tell us the reason.

I reckon that when you finally go, you'll need a poop knife to get that grogan down the hopper.

This is God-tier Meme master content, well done OP

Steak and eggs, it's what astronauts use to not shit for days. your body absorbs most of the material rather than excreting it. your looking for anything "low residue".

History in the making

Some armies use cheese to reduce frequency of bowel movements.

Alright. I'm giving you this advice because I've done it on a camping trip but it was only a single night. I usually go once or twice a day. I just didn't want to deal with digging a hole and it was only a single night in my case. I just took some anti diarrhea medicine to constipate myself lol. I don't remember how much, maybe even less than a whole dose.

Please read the labels and follow the instructions, it might not necessarily be safe over three days. Also imagine getting stopped up so bad that you have to go to the doctor about it then having to explain this. Just be careful. You're not saying why you refuse to go so only you can judge if it is worth it.

That said, I know someone who claims to only poop once a week and they claim their doctor said that was "within normal parameters" so who knows. But I have also heard stories of people having to go to the doctor and get an enema because they're so constipated.

Without context. This is such a hilarious situation, it's like, when a sitcom character whos role is to be the goof of the bunch, asks his friends this question and he's serious and frantic.

Update plz?

Sherlock emerges from the shadows of his contemplation, his penetrating gaze alight with a glimmer of the mind's razor-edged acuity, dancing over the hushed assembly.

"Ah, a conundrum indeed! But the game is afoot, my good fellows. Let us untangle this web of mystery step by step."

He begins to pace, his long fingers steepled in front of him, his sharp gaze distant.

"Firstly, we must examine the peculiar constraints Mizu has imposed upon himself. He wishes to abstain from the natural act of defecation for three days, intending to consume food that occupies minimal space, while also reducing perspiration. He will stay in a well-equipped tent, with access to adequate sanitation should the need arise, yet he insists he will resist such necessity."

He stops, turning sharply on his heel to face the crowd, the dramatic swish of his coat filling the silence.

"Despite these restrictions, Mizu explicitly denies embarking on a hiking trip or attempting to smuggle contraband. Yet he is engaged in a journey of some kind, returning to his place of origin before embarking on the same route again."

He taps his forehead lightly, his gaze thoughtful.

"The desire to limit perspiration indicates a need to control body odor and moisture - potentially to avoid detection or discomfort. The same logic may apply to his endeavor to restrict bowel movement. This points to a need to stay confined in a small, potentially shared, space for extended periods."

He turns away, pacing once more as he traces the threads of the narrative.

"His choice of diet - minimal and compact - suggests a limited ability to dispose of waste. This, coupled with the significant investment in a large, air-conditioned tent, speaks of a measure of affluence, yet a necessity to live in a manner that does not align with this status."

He spins around, eyes gleaming with realization.

"Consider the pattern of his journey. It is repeated, yet with a sojourn at his original location - a pause that allows for the resumption of normal bodily function."

He points at the crowd, his voice ringing out with certainty.

"Mizu, my dear audience, is not embarking on a mere trip. He is engaging in a performance, a role that demands these unusual conditions. But what performance could that be? Think, ladies and gentlemen, of an endeavor that requires one to remain in a compact, enclosed space for days, sharing it perhaps with others, yet intermittently returning to a home base."

His voice drops to a hush, his eyes intense.

"A role that demands a significant investment in a temporary abode but necessitates confinement in close quarters. A role where control of bodily functions and odors becomes vital. And what is that role, you ask?"

He raises his arms, his voice echoing dramatically in the silence.

"Mizu, ladies and gentlemen, is partaking in a competitive reality television show or a similar endeavor. A program that demands participants to live in close proximity, often in limited spaces like a train compartment or a shared tent. This necessitates careful control over body functions to minimize discomfort. The mid-journey return to his origin represents a break in the filming schedule, allowing him to revert to his normal physiological routines before starting the second leg of the journey."

He sweeps his arm out, his eyes twinkling with a triumphant gleam.

"There you have it, my dear fellows. A peculiar request, indeed, but quite understandable under the unforgiving lens of reality television. Not as mundane as a hiking trip, not as nefarious as smuggling, but every bit as demanding."

You're doing a medical study for money and you don't like to poop in public places. That's my guess.

If I had to guess, given the timing of this, he's probably on the Hajj. Around this time 1.5 million Muslims make a pilgrimage to fulfill one of the main tenants of the religion, to make a once in a lifetime pilgrimage to Makkah. This is tied to Eid that's coming in a few days.

Where I suspect this ties in is, one of the steps in this journey is to stay in Mina, which is basically a tent city outside of Makkah. The bathroom facilities are lacking at best, specially if you are used to clean western style sitting toilets. It's not uncommon for people to walk back to their hotels and take care of business and walk back to their tents. Depending on where the hotel is and where your tent is, this could be a half hour to an hour walk. Let's just say if someone is very particular about the throne and is situated far from the hotel, fasting and going without food to reduce poop frequency seems like a very attractive option.

In my experience, the bathrooms for the American and Canadian tents weren't too bad to use in a pinch. And I was blessed that my hotel was only a 15 mins walk, so my wife and I would walk over every morning, take a nice shower and freshen up and walk back (there is a recommended time requirement on how much of each day you can spend outside the boundary of the city). The food there was too tempting for me to go with the no poop route this brave soul is embarking on. (For context, they would have fresh squeezed juices, lamb and rice dishes as big as small cars, teas, coffees, and the sweets were amazing.... And it was all free!).

Eid Al Adha-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eid_al-Adha?wprov=sfla1

Hajj - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hajj?wprov=sfla1

Repost from: https://lemmy.ca/comment/549502

This post is truly glorious, this should be the founding exhibit of the museum of Lemmy.

I am truly grateful to witness this moment.

In case OP is still with us, my advice would be anti diarrhoea medication, consume minimum liquids, avoid fibre, pack MREs which are often formulated to be a bit constipating. But above all, question why on earth you would be doing this in the first place!