Toasted bread with blue cheese, a fried egg, hot sauce and maple syrup on top.

Instant noodles, peanut butter, and sriracha. Crack an egg in near the end.

It's actually pretty close to pad thai, but screams of struggle meal

Hobo salad: Canned kidney beans, canned sweetcorn, canned tuna, salad dressing. If I'm feeling fancy/not lazy I'll add some chopped shallots or scallions.

Pasta with ketchup instead of tomato sauce

Rice with ketchup

Ketchup with ketchup

I love ketchup

Cream of wheat but then you put a gloop of fruit yoghurt on top. Delicious probiotic fruit gruel.

2nd place goes to microwaved potato

Sourdough with chunky peanut butter, ground mustard, and aioli.

fermented shrimp paste, pickled bird eyes chili, soy sauce, fresh mangoes and plain white rice. topped with a heaping pinch of msg.

Toast, mayo, fried egg, salt. Then a liberal amount of Dave’s ghost pepper sauce on top, like a teaspoon.

I’m the only person I know of who will eat this specific hot sauce. Other hot sauce lovers will not touch it, because it tastes like capsaicin extract and poison. But I’m weirdly addicted to it. I own better tasting sauces but they don’t scratch the itch the right way.

Cold baked beans straight from the tin, eaten with a spoon. I'm grinning thinking of my dinner guests' faces as they contemplate their tins.

I bake a mean creamy chicken (like you'd find in a pot pie) but, for whatever fucking reason, I absolutely love that flavor spliced with white vinegar. I have a deep love of pushing tangy sour to the border of spiciness.

I am disappointed with all of you. Please go to your room.

Mix 2 different instant noodle products, Carbonara Buldak and Neoguri and create a sodium overload saucy cheesy ramen. We only have it max twice a month though because it’s so high in sodium.

Two pieces of white bread, mayo, thick slices of tomato and a bunch of black pepper.. Not sure how terrible it is, but I don't generally serve it to others because it's very messy.

Cinnamon raisin bagels with lox and cream cheese

Earlier this week I had curry on nacho chips because I made some really good curry and did not have the energy to make the actual nacho accoutrements that I had planned on doing

It was great

I knew someone who would eat a tomato for dinner with a few slices of carrots. Nothing baked, just a plain uncut tomato and slices of carrots.

I'm talking a functionnal human being, knowing the concept of cooking and the ability to walk to their kitchen with such a "dish" as they would call it. Not vegetarian either. They did like meat and whatnot. Saddest "meal" I've ever had the horror to lay my eyes upon.

Raw chickpeas. The small, black kind. I soak them overnight in cold water, and have them for breakfast along with a shot of espresso.

I got it from my dad. He used to have them with tea.

Sliced tomatoes, raw chikory, hard boiled egg with home made mayo.

Germany has brands of bottled curry sauce that are great on white rice.

I've never seen them in the US... but mayonnaise and curry powder is close enough.

Ranch noodles, though, I've served to guests all the time. It is exactly what it sounds like. You squirt ranch dressing all over fresh elbow / corkscrew pasta, and ideally cool overnight. It's two-ingredient pasta salad. Ranch is buttermilk, garlic, dill, and a bunch of other spices. Great as a side. Add pepper.

Mustard bread. I'm dead serious.

Edit to clarify: just a slice of bread with a heap of mustard rushedly spread on it. I either go for honey mustard if I'm looking for a bit of pep, or whole grain Dijon for savouring.

My invented dish I call "Scrumpy". You take fries or fried potatoes, equal amount lettuce broken up like for a salad, chicken, then top it with chicken or beef gravy and chopped green onions. To really take up the indulgence level you can add ~~southern~~ hot sauce like Frank's, and some Cajun seasoning.

It started because of my great love of poutine, and wondering how I could make it into a healthier full meal. I've done a million variations on it, too. Stir fried cabbage and onion instead of lettuce. Corned beef instead of chicken. Adding a fried egg on top... Very flexible weeknight meal.

I would absolutely serve this to someone if it ever came up, but it never has.

rice and lentils. Bit to mundane for company.

Fresh tomato and dry roasted peanuts.

Actually I might try it on someone ...