Hide an STI

Out fishing with some buddies on a river popular for its springs and people floating on inner tubes.

Except, we were well south of the exit for tubers to be picked up by the shuttle and taken back to the start, and we start hearing a loud group approaching. Eventually they saw us and loudly spoke to each other saying something about "asking the rednecks". When they got closer they did, to the point of saying, "Hey rednecks, where is the exit for tubers? Did we pass it or is it coming up?"

They were probably a 20 minute float past the exit. I told them they had about another 20 minutes to go.

"Thank you rednecks!"

Attempt to hitchhike across the US. No clue if they made it, but I carried them through Kentucky.

I say this as someone who has successfully hitchhiked the length and breadth of the 48 states, but these folks were not prepared for what they were attempting.

I once saw a lady pick up her toddler, help him stand on a trashcan, and piss into it.