Dads for a minute for children who need a dad figure
It is hard because you are trying to be everything.
And it is ok to say, I just need a minute to sit down and breathe.
remember back to when you were little and stressed out.
I would hold you and put on this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcvXr-9XtgA
come on, sing it with me.
and when you are calm, we can sit down and open up excel and make sure your budget leaves plenty for sanity, fun and problems happening in life.
I was in your place after graduating college. Don’t buy the house yet. Move to a temporary place, live there for 6-12 months, you’ll get a better lay of the land. You’ll know which neighborhood is right for you, start scouting houses… In that period you’ll also build your credit score, have more time on the job, save more money for a down payment; all things that count towards a better interest rate. Plus, you’ll also have time to live a little. That’s important. Life goes by fast. Too fast.
It is hard, but it's also how you grow. Things will go wrong! There will be setbacks. But you won't end up happy if you don't keep pushing.
Buying a house takes longer than you think. Focus on your new job and let the house thing take as long as it takes.
Proud of you for facing tough things and reaching out for help when needed. Everything you’re feeling makes sense. You can do this, you’ve already done so much.
Just because you have a lot and you do the right things, doesn't mean you won't struggle all the same. Life is a struggle, even during the best times. It is hard. It will make you doubt yourself. At times it will be unbearable. But it will be ok in the end. Just solve one problem at a time. Overcome one obstacle. Then do it once more.
And watch the horizon instead of your feet. It's ok to feel sad and upset. It's human nature to feel those emotions during hard times, and they make you no less of a person. Let them out now and again, even if it's just into a pillow or an empty car. I believe in you, even if you are doubting yourself, because you can do hard things. You have before. You will again. It's just hard in the moment and once it passes you'll have a new tolerance for what is hard.
Hey, you're starting out in that journey at one of the worst times for big moves that we've seen longer than I've been alive.
The fact that you've gotten squared away enough to even try is no joke. All those barriers you're facing, your grandparents most likely didn't. My generation, we got hit with it, but still not as bad as what your generation is facing.
It won't be easy, building your life, setting up a home, especially if you're having to move as well. But you're doing it, you're taking those big steps, and any parent would be proud of that. And, any parent would also know that if that struggle is more than what your current access to resources can handle, it sure as hell isn't on you.
So, don't let the stress of it weigh you down too much. I know that the stress is going to be a burden, but you're doing fine. You're gonna be fine, because you're putting in the effort. That's all anyone can be expected to do.
Good work champ. We have those struggles and I'm proud of you for reaching this level of autonomy in the current economy. It's scary but it'll work out.
You can’t fuck it so much that you can’t recover. You’ll be fine.
And, you can always slow down. You’re taking on a lot at one time. When moving to a new area it’s worth it to rent for a while. Get to know the neighborhoods. Explore the area, meet people. Make sure the job is stable before you invest.
You got this.
Don't lose sight of your goal and you'll get where you're going.
Make a plan - make several - and work it. You've got this.
Why is this so hard? - because it is hard! if it was easy then everyone would be doing it. It's ok to struggle, you can do this! Everything will be alright and if you do fail, you will be able to recover and learn from what didn't go right so next time you will be successful.
because you
have more than most around me
you have more to loose. That can feel as pressure/struggle to stay where you came to be. You got this far, you'll get further too! But it's ups and downs. Two steps forward, one step back, so keep your eye on the over-all long term result and don't worry if this week is the week of a step back.