Murdered by Words

Walking in with my pants rolled up to mid-calf and the knees busted out like I've been giving head at the local truck stop for the last three weeks. I've got a full head of hair, yet I insist on shaving everything but the crown. I absolutely cannot grow a beard, and I refuse to get a proper shave. I'm wearing a watch in the year 2025, purely to show off how much money I can throw at one of the only allowed men's accessories. Neck. Tattoos. There's a 50/50 chance I'm wearing socks.

The entire cast of the Jersey Shore is lining up to get my number. Everyone else is staying at the distance necessary not to smell the patchouli.

Short socks make me feel gross

• You will have my sword
• And my axe
• And my bow
• I'm looking for Horcruxes

Their arms are as big as their thigh. How can you even do that?

the pants look like they'll rip any second

Because I'm 55 years old and would—shockingly—even appear more of a buffoon than they?

Seems like a fairly good reason to me.

Personally for me I have massive legs even without working out( benefits of overweight with the right genetics) and I can't get the skinny jeans past my calves. 🤷‍♂️

It would also look ridiculous on me.

I would never wear long jeans that are not long enough and low socks to expose my ankles, that would feel terrible.

Guy on the left looks good to me honestly. The other three take it too far for my tastes but Lefty's hot

They give off dbag vibes

My curves are in different places

The one lad has gone baggy what is he hiding

Totally not gay, bro

Because I'm not into CBT.

what is this? the tight pants convention?

Showing off those sexy ankles would've gotten them in quite the pickle back in the late 1800s.

You can almost tell their religion be a their pants are so tight

If you consider round a shape I’d totally wear that

Because I'm 68 years old.

I have blue jeans like those and they're actually quite snug.

But I also have baggy jeans with large pockets and they give me the feeling of unlimited power.