A QA tester walks into a bar,
orders a beer,
orders 2 beers,
orders 0 beers,
orders 4294967296 beers,
orders -1/12 beers,
orders HGdIhFNPiHPWUDmUfWIFi beers,
orders a zebra

First real customer walks in,
asks where the bathroom is,
the whole bar catches on fire

My favourite one was when I asked the user "can this happen?" (Some value being negative) and they reply "no never".
Then, of course, I get an occurrence the day of the live demo with the user and her boss.
I ask again, "uh, so is this normal? Has it ever occured before? Because I asked you if it could happen and you said never."
Now the boss replies "oh, we meant it's extremely uncommon. Almost never happens".

Turns out it happens once every few months, amongst hundreds and hundreds of transactions.

So I gently explained that the computer doesn't care how often it happens. If it can happen, I need to code it in otherwise things go wrong!
Thankfully I had planned the eventuality, so I had a nice error message, but still. A lesson was learnt that day.

Nah, it's more:

QA: Can it be used as a catapult?

Day before release showing an engineer working on a different project: "Wait, isn't there a reason that car seats are rear facing for young children and not forward as you have it? Did anyone check on that?"

Lol, "dev testing".

My company recently made a website for some finance company. They told our designer what they wanted, the designer did her thing, we presented the design, they gave their feedback, we made changes, and at some point we arrived at a design that the client approved.

First thing the client did after the site went live was to completely replace all the text. All of it. The design was specifically made to accommodate the text that they had written themselves. The new text was SIGNIFICANTLY more than what the site was designed around, and of course it broke the whole thing.

"Why does this section look so bad", asks the client. Could that be because you pasted four whole paragraphs into a box that was supposed to display one short sentence, you absolute moron? The site's been up for about a week and they're already demanding a rather extensive redesign of the whole thing. Why the fuck did you approve it then?

Good thing they have a kid at the front. That way you are relatively protected from accidental crashes.

Double superman