this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2025
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Screenshot of a Tumblr post by indigosfindings:

imagine if someone just like started addressing you as Dipshit, like youre just talking about your day & they say "no way Dipshit, that's crazy." and then maybe you say to them that you would prefer not to be addressed as Dipshit & their response is "well in my major metropolitan area 'Dipshit' is not considered an insult. im not saying i think youre stupid when i call you Dipshit, i call my mom dipshit all the time" so you say Thats cool but please dont call Me that. and then they just repeat that it's something they say daily, they call all of their best friends & lovers dipshits & are called dipshit in return. "my grandma calls me dipshit at the dinner table, it doesnt mean anything." so you say Yes i understand that your friends & grandma arent bothered by being called Dipshit but i am, & i would prefer if you didnt address me as that. and they say "it's literally not possible for me to stop calling you dipshit, and it's not reasonable for you to ask me to, dipshit." anyway this post is about nothing in particular

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[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 2 points 20 hours ago
[–] Beacon@fedia.io 36 points 1 day ago (12 children)

It's a very interesting take that really makes you look at things from a different perspective, but it kinda breaks down if you think about it. If this person really was saying it like a pronoun with no offense intended, and they were using it to refer to half of everyone they spoke to, and it was how other people referred to that person themself too, then it would quickly seem fine to me. If everyone is calling people dipshit all the time then it quickly becomes nothing to care about

[–] red_bull_of_juarez@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You could say intent matters.

[–] MBM 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Depends. If you specifically have trauma from being called dipshit then it doesn't.

[–] red_bull_of_juarez@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 day ago (6 children)

Yeah, well... in this scenario where dipshit is an everyday word and used without malice, it's difficult to see how someone could have trauma from that.

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[–] LwL@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Yeah it's weird, I very much agree you should respect what people want to be called (unless maybe you feel they really lost all right to be respected, but then it's an active choice to insult) but the metaphor misses me so much it gives me the opposite reaction. If someone calls me some word that is normal to them but usually offensive to me I just think that's interesting that their culture is different for that word.

Of course the non-asshole reaction here is to just say "ah sorry, it's a normal non insulting way of calling people where I'm from, didn't mean to offend you" and do your best to stop using it, but somehow this makes it harder for me to reach that conclusion.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah, it's kinda like cunt with aussies and brits.

[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Jesus fucking cunt, you cunt just drop cunt at every cunt you see or some cunts gonna get a cunt in their cunt about it

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Oi! You takin the piss, ye cunt?

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Yes, it does break down in a hypothetical situation like the one you describe. But in reality and communication there always will be grey areas where shoe box thinking does not work out in a harmonic way. The acceptable outcome could be that person A simply dislikes person B for not respecting his/her wish and person B is okay with being disliked. Both agree to not enact policies based on their wishes. For me it seems in reality this often fails because of ambiguity intolerance.

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[–] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 4 points 1 day ago

LMFAO, I thought it was "nigga" for a minute there.

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I've had people say "you" is a slur.

Fuck off.

I could make a more detailed argument, but no. I should not need to.

[–] emmanuel_car@fedia.io 4 points 1 day ago (13 children)
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[–] rainrain@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (16 children)

Language is owned by the group.

Individuals don't dictate to the group.

This individual is asserting a definition of "dipshit" that contradicts the definition held by the group.

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[–] Trashcan@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (6 children)

I understand the desire to have people use your pronouns, and as long as one can see what gender you are "presenting", one should use those pronouns.

If someone prefers other pronouns, then I'm sorry... Many people (me included) have a hard time remembering names... I wouldn't have a chance remembering a large set of different pronouns if I can't even remember the names of that person. A pronoun is a non specific way of addressing someone and a break life saver like "you"...

To to switch to an all inclusive them/they for everybody seems overreaching.

If it's not obvious what pronouns someone prefers, then they shouldn't be annoyed if someone makes repeatedly mistakes.

And this makes it hard to distinguish a mistake from an insult...

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[–] lulztard@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 day ago

Imagine one would genuinely not care about being called dipshit under the given circumstances. Context and intent are more important than the choice of words. I can't call something retarded, but I can call it demented. Crazy is fine, slow isn't. If it were about people and slurs, both words would be banned, but only one is, leaving the feeling of oppression under the banner of Good rather than it being actually about change for the better.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 19 points 1 day ago (3 children)

You can call me a dumbass all you want, it's part of the reason I chose this name, besides being a dumbass.

[–] pipes@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Whatever you say, smartass

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 17 points 1 day ago

Well now I'm offended!

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