They told me about a Dark Plagus dude and some tragedy. I spaced out but I’m pretty sure the lesson was to always keep partying.

He told me that I need to find a new therapist.

The last advice my therapist ever gave me will hang with me forever: "If you're not willing to open up to me you won't get much from these sessions."

It seems like you escape your inner conflicts by being industrious.

Not professional advice but instead of going, you could halt posting for a moment and focus on your breathing. It will assure you that you are safe, and you can let the conflicts become a bit more aware without feeling overwhelmed by the terror. Do this for some time and you create the space to transform your conflicts.

Being kind to yourself is apparently pretty important.

“You don’t have to do everything all at once” and “it’s okay to have a meltdown when you get home” helped a lot to be honest

I shouldn't be paranoid about him double billing me/my insurance.

Not all therapists are good ones.

Check out some DBT / cbt techniques on YouTube or the like, whatever is easiest to access, find some that resonate with you and make them your own / tweak them so they fit your life / vibe.

I did a DBT course, and while I hated every minute of it, a lot of it is super great and hugely helpful for coping in hard moments and a great recipe for a way of living that's more calm and balanced. I feel like I hated the DBT course I did because the people presenting it had never even stumbled on a rock in their lives, let alone lived through a hard moment and needed any of this stuff for real, and their privilege read as saccharine condescension.

BUT! I'm never one to throw the baby out with the bath water, I believe you can turn anything to your advantage or upskill or just build knowledge, if you're industrious enough! You take those muthafking lemons and you make champagne, fk them. Plus they just mostly showed us clips on YouTube, so lol. The DBT course I did felt more like the break room from severance, having to admit how faulty you are and how this new enlightening thing they just told you seconds ago is going to benefit your life, as they announce each section. They didn't even give you time to process, let alone leave room for if that was something you already knew or already utilized, but, I powered through and just paid lip-service, got my upskill, moved on.

Easier path, just look up DBT on YouTube, find people explaining what you like, give it a go on a regular basis.

Your emotions and feelings are your brain and body’s way of communicating with you - listen to them. If you take some time to feel your feelings with a sympathetic lens, you can better understand what’s wrong. While fixing it will be a lot longer of a journey, simply allowing your self to listen will be a good first step.

stop smoking marijuana

They tried to figure out which one of my sensory issues is tied to which one of my traumata. I'm autistic.

Try something other than amex cards.

Life doesn't happen on your schedule.

I'll tell you my PERSONAL experience. I was on therapy and I learned to 1st Identify your triggers (what makes you feel sad? Is it the news? Is it specific news?! Like politics or violence? What ruins your day/week?). Once you know what makes you angry or sad you can actively avoid reading or looking for it. Block people that keep pushing it on you, remove communities that post about it, maybe even social media as a whole (Lemmy is the only social media I still have and it has been amazing for my menral.health). If you feel stable enough and in control you cam work towards changing it. You can be a volunteer or do some work for it.

Finally, since in my case this wasn't enough, I went to a psychiatrist and now take an amazing medication. 1 pill a day changed my life radically. I recomend

They always tell me "sorry, you're too complex, go somewhere else"

Bro just do it you wont. (I got a therapist from betterhelp)

Whatever assumptions you have about the universe and other people are wrong. They all want to connect and love/be loved.

Whisper posts shudders

I can't heal you. You have to learn how to manage your situation. That I would be glad to help you with.

I know she said it differently but that's how I remember it. I've never been so terrified in my life but she helped me (so far) to get really excited for change.

"We're raising our hourly rates"