Being a transmasc who is into computers, that causes its own kind of isolation because a lot of the trans-in-tech spaces, well... a carelessly-phrased egg joke in a transfem-heavy space hits as pressure to detransition if you happen to be a transmasc, and so the whole "teehee become a girl to be a True Programmer" meme culture feels hostile.
this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2025
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The amount of IT nerd trans women I've had straight up tell me that I'm not actually nonbinary and that what's really going on is my egg still needs to crack more because I've got too much internalized misogyny is uncomfortably high. I've had at least a dozen separate conversations where different people have tried to convince me I'm not actually nonbinary, just a trans woman in denial.
the transfem blahaj community has about 3,600 users, this one has about 600.
Its a pattern I've noticed on online platforms. The trans population's gender balance tends to be the opposite of the site's cis population. The fediverse seems disproportionally male generally, so it tracks.
When I discovered I was a trans woman my instinct was to look up the trans communities on the sites I already used. I didn't reevaluate my entire internet habits holistically, and switch to female dominated platforms to match my new identity. I get the impression that's what most people do.
I'm not surprised to read that bluesky has more transmasc content. Whatever platform has more cis girls will probably have more transmascs as well, at a guess.
Its probably not for the best for trans people to be on platforms dominated by opposite gendered cis people, but it seems like an inevitability of the internet.
@hildegarde that's an interesting theory. Might explain why I saw equally both transmascs and transfems on Tumblr, for example, though many transfems are leaving due to Tumblr staff being hostile to them. I also guess disproportion may be caused by transmascs tending to be silent about themselves for various reasons
That's something I've noticed as well. We tend to blend in. I don't say I'm a trans guy unless I'm somewhere like this.
Same here. I rarely talk about it IRL.
I'm a cis white male who's into tech, but I'll be your friend. You might also check Mastadon on fedi (though it skews toward tech people even more than Lemmy does; lots of software developers there). But if you're happy on BlueSky, there's nothing wrong with that. I hope the culture here develops in such a way as to feel like a better fit for you over time.
Hi. I’m transfem and lurk here (posted once I think). I want this space to grow for y’all too. I’ve got a bunch of my own ideas of why I think there’s a disproportionate transfem presence on Lemmy, and in online spaces in general, but I won’t get into that right now.
I just wanted to say I (and I think I can say “we”) want you here. The rare transmasc meme that goes by on !egg_irl@lemmy.blahaj.zone or !onehundredninetysix@lemmy.blahaj.zone always gets a smile out of me.
I struggle convincing a lot of my masc friends to join Lemmy because they really don’t rely on online spaces the same way I do, but I will keep working to convince them. If we want the platform to survive, the early adopters need to go through a period of kind of blah user counts. This happened broadly, but it also happened with specific and niche communities.
Stick to BlueSky if you’re liking it, but please check in here now and again!! Hopefully it only gets better with time!
Lots of love from your trans siblings ❤️ 🏳️⚧️ ✊
Yep. It's been a problem for a while. I'm adore IT so I fit into the fediverse alright, but the subculture around it is exclusionary in trans spaces.
The cool thing about the fediverse tho is that you can usually carve out your own space if you post on it/promote it enough.