Kinda just hoping they love me for who I am and not some forced version of myself that makes me feel like a complete ass.
this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
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Because the statement is incomplete. It should be “hate small talk with certain people or strangers”. You can hate small talk with most people but at the same time talk with your spouse for hours.
No small talk only big talk
The couples that argue all the time, they hate smalltalk. Just tell him to bring out the trash.
My partner and I have surprisingly little in common when it comes to interests. I like a lot of nerd stuff: homelab, 3d printing, robotics, brewing, welding, woodworking, sci-fi, etc. They like not nerd stuff: copaganda shows, murder porn (podcasts and documentaries), dog training, cooking, etc. I like metal, they like jangly indie, we both like punk. We both really love cats.
We also both hate small talk, so we only discuss what we find to be pertinent or interesting. Since we have a lot of individual interests, we actually have a lot to talk about. We just had a really great conversation on using Docker or a VM to circumvent some silly online testing issues. Otherwise, it's just comfortable silence. I really love them.
Yep.
Need for small talk suggests the contents of your thoughts revolves around topics and depth of thought suitable for small talk, I wish you the best in finding someone similar who can appreciate its value to your life. I'll be elsewhere and hope you wish me the same luck. Anything that is meaningfully impactful to my partner however, is never small talk.
I'm afraid you've missed the point. Smalltalk is about maintaining and strengthening relationship, which involves knowing about each others' lives and feelings. And it does double duty: taking the time to ask and listen is a way to express that the other person is important enough to you - i.e. to express love.
It's not the only way, and many of us don't do well at smalltalk, but it's a valuable way. And,
your thoughts revolves around topics and depth of thought suitable for small talk
Indeed! It means your thoughts have time for the other person's life and feelings.
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Well do you?
Honestly yes that's kind of what I do.
"i just don't think this relationship is going to work. i need more small talk."
"...the fuck? ok, bye"