My insight is see a psychiatrist and get set up with therapy my dude.

It is a terrible idea to seek medical advice from people on the internet. I could tell you anecdotes about my bipolar 2 disorder, but that does nothing to actually help you. Anyone who is giving you advice about it could be ADHD, or autism, or BPD is not helping you at all. You can read about the disorders/conditions from medical experts online, but again none of that is actually helpful. Instead you’ll end up diagnosing yourself with these things, and reinforce it with symptoms that you think you have.

The real advice here is to seek the help of a professional.

There is no stand-in for it.

As someone who is figuring out if they suffer with that shit...my main advice is ..talk. Even if you feel dumb about it. Even if you think you don't got the words, just try. Talking has helped me so much. I do not rage like I use to, and I am able to be honest when I hit a pit of depression or a mood swing. Even when I do fly off the cuff now, I am able to keep control and realize how I am coming off. Talking is one of the best tools we have for our mental health.

Are your mood changes triggered from within yourself or from external things? Since I was diagnosed with BPD, I've come to find that one of the biggest distinctions between it and bipolar is that outside influences trigger mood changes with bpd, but bipolar mood swings are usually "routine" and have cycles.

So, like, I could be in a good mood but then hear a phrase or a song or smell a smell that triggers me to become angry, or sad, or otherwise change my mood in a split-second.

However, getting overwhelmed and frustrated and being prone to emotional outbursts because of that are also part of autism, which I have also been diagnosed with. Though it takes a lot of stress to trigger an "overflow" in me, the regular mood swings from just being exposed to external stimuli are more of an everyday issue.

I'm by no means a licensed therapist or anything, just wanted to say that it sounds very familiar. I used to be VERY anxiously attached when younger, but it ended up being a symptom of my codependency, fuelled and amplified by my pretty much non-existent self-esteem.

The part about mood swings not so much, although I will say it was pretty easy to get me rolling down that anxious hill. I stopped going out with friends almost entirely because I just couldn't take arguments around my first ex's jealousy which went on for hours, with lingering resentment for days (yeah, we were perfect together, what can I say...). This was among many, many... many other subjects, both hers and mine. But this (mostly) only happened within the relationship and the context of our interactions, the seas were relatively calm for me otherwise (save for some "age-appropriate" immaturity and other symptoms of my major issues, although everything was mostly centered around self-loathing and severe doubt, so inward).

If you haven't already, I'd recommend trying to get an official diagnosis around this. I've read up on BPD quite a bit, and the main takeaway seems to be that it's frustratingly easy to mistake it for something else (complex PTSD, for instance), or mistake other clusters of instability for BPD.

I must say, though, you're presenting a lot of self-awareness, and that's a very good sign! Don't be disheartened by the situation, there are always ways to functionally address these things. Having this much self-awareness from the go is a head start!

Edit: wanted to touch upon what you said about having outbursts when you were young, may be able to relate to those as well depending on a couple of factors. My emotional outbursts were mostly as a response to unreasonable standards and some fairly unhealthy parenting methods. I wasn't allowed to release pressure in a controlled manner in general, so I had moments when my valve'd pop off from swallowing all of those frustrations.

It got pretty bad during high-school, when I was catapulted into individuation, while my family was doing everything in their power to lock me down into their unhealthy patterns. One could call what I experienced several times during that period as mood swings, yes.

I'm no psychologist but recognize some similar feelings I experienced too. Could be undiagnosed PTSD or ADHD. Neither particularly makes relationships easy.

Definitely agree, therapist and a formal diagnosis could be very beneficial to you better understanding you. Godspeed in your journey!

You might read up on attachment styles but don't rule out autism either with the emotional outbursts. Especially if they feel like they don't come from "you".

As others have said, talking to a professional to get a full diagnosis can help you advance in this area and maybe help you heal.