this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2025

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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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195

Anon is unaware he's at risk for a heart attack (slrpnk.net)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 52 points 1 month ago

Fake & def gay

[–] sunglocto@lemmy.dbzer0.com 46 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Fake: anon had a dad

Gay: Dude literally look at this post

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What's with the absolute horrible crop? It's not like 4chan puts a watermark on the left side or anything...

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Shitty meme found in trash bin. I broke into this guy's house and stole a new one for you. Hope his dead gay dad doesn't mind

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 7 points 1 month ago

Yay! That's much better, thank you!

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago

Fake: Anon claims to bang a dude who looks like an older version of him

Gay: Anon is fantasizing about banging an older man

[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fellas is it gay to be gay?

[–] Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Only if you're a bottom.

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 9 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

When you're in balls-deep and give one final buck, spraying your thick batter deep into him, and you feel his legs tighten around your waist and his fingers dog into your back as he erupts into the paper-thin gap between your stomachs as as your tongue fights his and his fights yours, and you pull away with your lips still bridged by saliva and sweat and you stare at his face framed by your hands and you caress his chin with your thumb and realise he's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen and you stare into his big, deep eyes and he stares back into yours he whispers "I love you" and you whisper back "I love you too" I cannot even begin to stress how important it is to say "no homo" otherwise you might give off the wrong signals.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Looking past the obvious WTF, dude ain't curious about his deceased brother(s)? 🤔

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I've reread it and don't see where it says anything about siblings, alive or dead?

[+] over_clox@lemmy.world -12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Written will says most of it is to go to his living son"

Try to read first, it's right there in the post.

[–] Object@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

uj/ The son in question is anon

[+] spankmonkey@lemmy.world -7 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Yes, but there wouldn't be a reason to say living son unless there was a deceased sibling. The wording implies one or more deaths.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Legal documents tend to just specify things like that as a matter of course. Boilerplate is easier to adapt than starting from scratch every time.

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 5 points 1 month ago

Suppose he willed his car to his living son, his house to his son, and the remainder of his estate to Bob.

He dies. Son is alive. In this case, son gets house and car. Bob gets everything else.

Suppose son dies first. In this case, the house transfers to the son's estate, where it is then transferred to son's heirs. The house was bequeathed to the "son".

But the car does not transfer to the son's estate. The car was bequeathed to the "living son". The car transfers to Bob with the rest of Dad's estate, not to the son's heirs.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 1 points 4 weeks ago

Dude, its made up by some 4chan'er trolling for lol's, it's not a legeal document :)

[–] rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world 1 points 4 weeks ago

The trouble is that legal documents are often very specifically worded to avoid implications. Legal writing is almost like a different dialect to usual colloquial English.

[–] Object@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

Yeah but money

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 8 points 4 weeks ago

Fake: Anon has a strong relationship with his dad

Gay: gay

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 4 weeks ago

Good title, when the twist came it gave me a secondary chuckle

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Anon should be aware now...