Luckily there are plenty of lawyers to go round, so the poor creatures won't have to starve.
this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2025
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My neighbor told me Permian Fauna keeps eating his lawyers so I asked how many lawyers he has and he said he just goes to the law firm and gets a new lawyer afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding legal representation to Permian animals and then his daughter started clapping.
Where would one find such Permian fauna? Asking for a friend.
Also, is their diet varied enough that they would accept politicians instead?
Only one way to find out.
Permian park, apparently
I read Jurassic Park recently and was surprised that the lawyer was one of the only level-headed characters. Everyone else was like "this place is gonna make so much money, let's fucking GOOOOO!" And he was like "holy shit this is a disaster waiting to happen, we have to shut this place down."
The movie did him dirty.
The movie did him dirty.
Wait till you read the lost world.
Lol what happened there? I actually made a conscious decision not to read it because I didn't really enjoy reading Jurassic Park.
BOOK SPOILERS
The entire story is different. For starters there's no t-rex loose in LA or whatever. Hammond is dead in the book (he gets eaten by compys at the end of the first book). There's a few details that are the same, like the fancy research lab on wheels, but in the movie the child that stows away on it is Malcolm's daughter. She's not in the book. Instead in the book two research assistants to another character are the stowaways. Small things, lots of them.
The trex getting loose is probably adapted from the first chapter in the book that predicates the entire adventure - there are reports of raptors on the mainland snatching babies out of open windows at night. I can see why Hollywood might have left that part out
The Lost World has Dodgson. Not that anyone cares.
A huge Tyrannosaurus ate our lawyer
Well, I suppose that proves they're really not all bad
I would genuinely be more interested in seeing animals from before The Great Dying.
Crabs, it's always crabs
And jellyfish.
I would want to see an "ediacaran biota" park, though that one would have to be more like a public aquarium than a park I suppose.
I was going to say the same about Cambrian biota, but it would be faster, cheaper, and less horrifying to simply make more movies based on H.P. Lovecraft novels.
That would still be cool.
heckin chonker
A huge Moschops ate our lawyer, I suppose that proves they're really not all bad
edit: probably not of the moschops, sue me. oh wait you can't hahahaha
Synapsids and sauropsids are honorary dinosaurs in my book, and I'm not just saying that cause I'm one
In the book, the lawyer was a good dude and grandpa was the asshole
I am not criticizing the comic. It's great. The concept, however, I have seen multiple times in various mediums. The webcomic franchise Cyanide & Happiness has a three-part animated comedy video sketch parody of the Jurassic Park franchise as well that was released several years ago.
It's alright, that lawyer is just outside counsel, he was expendable.