this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2025
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Wish me luck... I'm gonna need it! (thelemmy.club)
submitted 2 days ago by relation_anon4238@thelemmy.club to c/lesbians@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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I just asked my online crush if she wanted to date when we got to know each other more and at first she said no because I was too heavy for her (160 lbs, she is 90, she doesn't want much of a weight difference and doesn't like chubby x skinny). Next, she kept playfully teasing me about my crush on her after I confessed and said "Oh, you really want me?" and then said she would think about dating me if I really did like her. My friends all say that's a definite no and that she won't say yes and all that...

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[–] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You are worth so much more than that. Please respect yourself and don't fall into this clearly manipulative relationship.

[–] relation_anon4238@thelemmy.club 4 points 1 day ago

Thankfully, she likes someone else. Thank youuu

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh sister, no. The whole "maybe I'll date you if you beg" thing is a huge red flag - I'm sorry, but your crush is not a nice person and beat avoided.

I'm sorry.

[–] relation_anon4238@thelemmy.club 3 points 1 day ago

It's okay, she likes someone else anyway

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

She's playing games and you're always going to be the loser here. Cut and run before that red flag turns to something scarier.

[–] relation_anon4238@thelemmy.club 3 points 1 day ago

Thanks so much!

[–] possumparty@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 run away from that situation bc she's already trying to emotionally manipulate you

[–] erotador@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I would be rather careful around this one, not accepting you for your body is a big red flag imo, who's to say this is the only thing they are going to have a problem with?

[–] relation_anon4238@thelemmy.club 4 points 1 day ago

Fair enough, thank you

[–] apotheotic@beehaw.org 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Its a hard pill to swallow but nothing good can come from this - others have already addressed why but please do hear their warnings

[–] relation_anon4238@thelemmy.club 3 points 1 day ago

Thank you, I will

[–] bear@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Not wanting a weight difference sounds like bs. Sounds like a red flag to me.