movies

I was the world's biggest Star Wars fan in the '90s. I read all the books and comics, I had the little spaceships. When I left the theater in 1997 after seeing the Star Wars Special Edition, it was like a punch to the gut. So many stupid changes. I hoped for more with Empire, but Luke screamed after his noble sacrifice, which really irritated me. By the time of Jedi, I was already expecting the worst, and boy, they delivered with that awful musical number.

But somewhere deep in my heart I held out hope for Phantom Menace. And that finally killed Star Wars for me. Later I sold or gave away all that stuff. I only kept the original Timothy Zahn trilogy, because I first read those before I even saw the movies.

So by the time we got the sequels I had zero investment. Force Awakens was... fine. A rehash with no original ideas. But I get it. Remind people why they like Star Wars.

I liked Last Jedi a little more than most, despite the clear trilogy pacing screw ups and go-nowhere B plots (casino planet, etc.). I actually really liked Luke's arc. It was something new and unexpected, but many Star Wars fans want the same warmed-over meal instead of something more dynamic. Same goes for the "anyone can be Force sensitive." Same goes for "the sacred texts!" And Luke demonstrated total mastery over the Force, holding to his Jedi beliefs, before he died. It was bold, not the typical corporate safe plots with all sharp edges filed down. It could have led in an interesting direction. Killing Snoke was surprising, but I had to imagine there was a plan there. This was a billion dollar franchise. Surely someone had a conversation before they approved the script.

Well, no. They didn't. I had assumed it was setting up Kylo Ren as the primary antagonist for the next movie. But Rise of Skywalker ended up being one of the worst movies I've seen in my life. Not worst Star Wars movie: worst movie period.

How do you make a good Star Wars 9 after 8? Well you sure don't bring Palpatine back in the 9th inning with zero foreshadowing. And you definitely don't materialize 10 million Star Destroyers out of thin air.

The original trilogy was great. The prequels were flawed and silly, but at least there was a singular flawed and silly creative force behind them trying to say something. The sequels on the whole just sucked.

It’s because the sequels largely just repeated what the original trilogy did but worse. Don’t believe me? Okay I’ll point out some of the similarities.

The Force Awakens loosely follows A New Hope, desert planet > climatic escape > try to deliver plans/map > goes wrong > rescue mission > eventually deliver plans > blow big death ball up. The only difference between the two is that The Force Awakens swaps rescue mission and eventually deliver plans around.

The Last Jedi just copies what The Empire Strikes Back does but in reverse this time. Cold planet > big battle > escape > spaceship scenes > side quest planet > jedi side quest planet > confrontation with big bad > lightsaber lost > spaceship scene. The Last Jedi pretty much reverses the order with a few other things flipped around but it’s pretty lazy.

The Rise of Skywalker and The Return of the Jedi follow the same broad strokes too but are at least a little different now. Return to previously established planet > bad guy on evil ball #2 > plan goes awry > fight scene > meet with Jedi master for last time > big speech before final battle > super big space battle over evil ball #2 > light vs dark battle in main character > both sith die on evil ball #2 > celebration. Okay okay if you look at this one in more detail, adding in all of tRoS’ side quests, they are definitely different but the same loose structure is still there.

You can talk whatever shit you want on the prequels but at least they tried new things. They didn’t always work but they tried and I think it helps them actually stand out from the original trilogy rather than feel like a retread. They certainly do copy some of the major strokes at times but they do more to alter it.

There is also the problem with Rey in the sequels, we never really see her fail at something. When she tries to use a Jedi mind trick for the first time she gets it to work. When she tries to use a force pull for the first time it works. She never really gets tempted into using the dark side like Luke and Anakin did. When she tries to use force healing it just works for her. She doesn’t get a scene like Luke and Anakin had where they make a mistake and get punished for it. Luke and Anakin both lost a hand because of their mistakes. Luke fails with the training droid in A New Hope, he fails to raise his X-Wing out of the swamp and he fails his Jedi mind trick. Heroes need to have the stakes of failing to actually make their journey engaging and memorable. If they just succeed every time it can get boring and forgettable.

Comparing Rey to Saitama for a second here. The reason why Saitama works and Rey doesn’t is because Saitama struggles with how overpowered he is. He wants a real challenge when every foe he comes up against goes down immediately. Rey doesn’t have a real struggle, whenever she looks to be in a bind she just gets a new power that saves the day. She is the dictionary definition of a Mary Sue and it makes her so forgettable.

It definitely was. The cultural impact of the sequels is much lower than the two other trilogies.

I didn’t even see the third one I was so checked out on it

It was bad enough that it was a repressed memory. To this day, I still feel that the trailers for The Old Republic video game are 100% better than that whole sequel trilogy combined.

TLJ is second only to ESB.

the problem is JJ. he's creatively bankrupt. TFA was too unoriginal, hamstringing the whole trilogy. and the man can't end anything to save his life, and they gave him the conclusion to ALL OF STAR WARS.

They were forgettable. In order, we had:

• sequel
• followup to sequel
• complete reboot of sequel with the same actors

I was a Star Wars fan all my life.

I became a Trekkie somewhere through that trilogy.