If you find one, you find a group cos like attracts attracts like.
When I'm having beers with my buddies we mostly talk about sports, sometimes work and random other bullshit like movies and such.
It's actually very rare for dudes to discuss felonies they've committed.
It bothers me that anyone pointing to the majority of men who are not rapists, is getting branded as a rape apologist.
As a guy, I can say with certainty that I've never been involved in, nor known about anyone who was the perpetrator of rape.
I firmly believe that the perpetrators, specifically the male perpetrators of rape, if they tell anyone, they say it as a regular sexual encounter. Ladies, we don't go into details taking about who did what in the bedroom. The most I've ever heard from any guy about their sexual exploits, is that they happened "I banged her" (or similar), and sometimes a quip about the experience or the person, eg: "it was great" or "she's a freak (in bed)" or similar.
The reason we don't know that the people we know are rapists, is because they're not coming out and telling us about it. I promise, if they did, they wouldn't be free for long. They'd either end up in jail, or beaten bloody by the majority of us (or worse).
Generally we just don't say much about what happens in the bedroom, to eachother.
Agreed.
I am a man and I am a victim of repeated child sexual abuse. It has broken me forever. While I don't feel comfortable explaining what effects it had on me, let's say that I'll never be a normal functioning person because of what was done to me.
To what you said I would like to add that some of us are victims too and being generalized and then labeled as rapists or apologists is so fucking triggering, it's actually madening. The idea of being associated with my perpetrator is intolerable.
I get it that sexual misconducts are more prevalent in men, but something like 1 in 6 boys will experience some sort of sexual abuse. That is a shitton of victims being labeled as rapist apologists.
Anyways, like you, I think we can have this discussion without aggressively accusing all members of a given gender.
Especially lately with all the Epstein stuff being discussed, I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling trapped in a constant spiral of flashbacks and stuck in a non-stop dissociated state especially that there is no accountability in sight.
In any cases, let's have compassion for all the victims no matter their gender or sex and let's focus our anger toward the abusers.
I don't think it's possible for me to agree with you more.
I will only add the I empathize with you and all of the other victims regardless of gender. Please know that you are valued for who you are, not what has happened to you.
Be well.
So, this is a fun one:
A rapist often has more than one victim.
Someone who disclosed to one person may well have disclosed to many.
Rapists tend not to self-disclose.
The definition of rape is badly established between both parties (it's an absolute minefield).
What you end up with is lots of small factors giving the illusion of a higher frequency by counting the same predator twice among women, and you also have factors that may cause predators not to be counted by men giving the illusion of a lower frequency.
Rapists know they'd be punished and/or shunned if they spoke of their crimes, so they don't talk about it.
Victims on the other hand are encouraged to seek help; talking through the trauma as a means of coping and healing.
It only makes sense the victim would be more commonly known about than the offender.
On top of that; a rapist is more likely to have created multiple victims, it's not just a 1:1 comparison.
This is the most logical conclusion.
Although I will say, I've met people that openly admitted to terrible behavior. Not rape, but very shitty things nontheless.
Probably because most rapists are repeat offenders which makes more rape victims than rapists, if I had to give a legitimate guess. That and non-rapists tending not to associate with people they know are rapists.
Well, rapists don't brag about it probably, but women will talk to each other for support.
Because the amount of rapist's among the toral male population is incredibly small?
Not saying there isn't a discussion to be had here. But this argument is moronic and goes against what it's trying to say
I do know a rapist. Unfortunately I only found out she was a rapist when she raped me.
Did you know that alienating men and making them feel like bad people for things they themselves didn’t do doesn’t do anything to help anyone?
I had a good friend who turned out to have murdered his girlfriend. He did not confide that in us. We weren’t just hanging out with some guy who murdered just girlfriend because we were ok with that. All of us changed our view and opinion of this person and not a one has remained their acquaintance after it came out.
I bet I know someone who has raped someone. I wouldn’t willingly associate with them if I knew, and they’re likely not going to out themselves. I know that none of the people I know would continue to associate with someone like that if we knew.
People hide shit, people do awful things, othering and hating only makes out groups and creates greater rifts.
This picture makes a pretty good point BUT when lodged as a bomb at half the population it’s like punching a lifeguard in the mouth.
If 1 in 100 men is a rapist, then he can rape a lot more women than 1 in 100. Very few people are responsible for most occasions, similarly with divorces, etc.
Also why would anyone admit to being a rapist?
Because the same few guys are raping a lot of different women.
Because most non-rapist guys choose not to associate with predatory guys, while the latter's victims didn't have a choice in the matter.
Man here. I was once a mandatory reporter so i absolutely know some rapists. Some of the cases involved men (or women) i knew.
I do want to acknowledge that women are disproportionately the victims of sexual violence and rape, but if i could id just mention that victims of sexual violence and rape can be any gender, and the rapists can be any gender as well. I mention that since the sign kind of assumes that men won't be victims themselves or that they wouldnt tell their friends like women.
Who tf would go around admitting to serious crimes that'll get you shunned from most circles?
Im a survivor of childhood sexual assault and im a man.
P.s. my abuser was a woman
I’m a dude. I’ve known a couple.
I had a friend once at a party tell me to come with her, so I did. She walked up to this dude I was acquainted with, screamed at him, told everyone around that he raped her, and proceeded to beat the living shit out of him. Everyone let it happen then I drove her home.
Plenty of men know Trump
FWIW I have had to excommunicate multiple people from my life based on credible accusations of sexual assault. One of them was my best friend.
I'm locking this thread while I clean it up.
I did, actually. Our college never did anything about him and I don't believe he got into legal trouble. We did kick him off of our special dorm floor at least. Piece of shit.