Wand of magic missile.
Occasionally shoots cum.
this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2025
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Flaming sword. Only the handle sets on fire.
Band of Gorilla Repair: Once per day, can repair anything, or rather, will summon 1d4 (can be modified depending on the size of the job) massive gorillas who show up seemingly out of nowhere whenever anything near the wearer breaks or is heavily damaged. The gorillas can repair anything.
Those not expecting to see a bunch of repair-happy gorillas must make a fear check.
These mysterious gorillas are actually friendly and fix whatever thing was broken, but beware, their patience quickly runs out for anybody intentionally causing disrepair or destruction in their presence!
And I'm stealing that idea for my game, and that one, and this one is cool too ...
Magic rope - an animated rope that can be commanded to levitate and tie knots. When placed in any container, pouch or pocket, it immediately gets tangled up and take 1d6 minutes per 5ft of rope to untangle. Other objects in the container also become tangled with the rope, and take 1d6 minutes to remove individually, entangled objects are released immediately when the entire rope is untangled.
Magic rope is unable to be cut by any non-magical item.
it immediately gets tangled up and take 1d6 minutes per 5ft of rope to untangle
Should be a Dexterity check per 5ft per 1d6 minutes to make it even more diabolical.
Broom of Flying Yes its a broom that allows you to fly
No one ever said anything about landing The broom cannot come down lower than 30 feet from the ground. Dismounting will stop the broom and allow you to pick it up, as long as your concious from the fall
I was hoping it stays up in the air so you have to tie it like a ballon.
That makes it too easy: just attach a ropeladder to the broom. That doesn't work if the broom stops levitating when you get off.
I missed a trick with that
Your version maybe funnier because one of the safest ways to land is to jump into water, but then the broom is in the water too.
That would actually be pretty amazing for a beach holiday.
Bag of holding, but everything that goes in comes out a crocheted plushie version.
I just thought of the most evil shit you could do with this.
They buy the bag and it comes preloaded with a couple lil crocheted trinkets that are cutesy and like grandma made it for adventurers. A lil mealkit, a ration pack, a lil sword and shield but also a doll. As they slowly start to realize what the bag does they remember the doll and start freaking out about what if it was a person who went in there to hide and got turned and we gotta fix 'em! Ends up being a whole quest line to unfuck the bag, the bag items and specifically this doll. At the very end they undo the doll and it turns into a wooden doll. Then when laughter/disappointment just getting to the right point, have the doll talk. Get the joke of it being a doll and they get the expectation they wanted of it being a living being they saved.
Fucking love it. Could be an easy one shot for sure. Have fun with it!
Invisibility potion that turns your digestive track and stomach contents invisible.
Lembas bread but it's 1000 years past it's due date and you will get diarrhoea equivalent to its food value.
Id risk it
Magic sword of infinite sharpness.
Sheathing the sword, or holding it by the hilt, quillons, or pommel causes it to become incredibly heavy.
Potion of Water Breathing: DOES NOT RETAIN AIR BREATHING
Flail of Flatulence: deals an additional 1d4 of embarrassment to the target while dealing 1d4 of gas damage to everything within 6 meters.
Cape of (Refugee) Flight: you gain the power to fly for your life.
Screaming Cloak of Invisibility: you're invisible, but the cloak constantly screams, "HE'S OVER HERE!!!" and tries to give away your location.
The Tax Axe: raises both your taxes and your target's with every swing.
The Tax Axe might be the most evil weapon ever devised.
Wielded correctly, in the hands of someone self-sacrificial, it could rectify many of society's wrongs.
I'm thinking more like, set up a carnival with axe throwing for the elites. Dont tell them the axe is cursed
I admire that you came up with a much more peaceful and creative approach. But mine might be more fun, if we can get a group together.
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Cube of instant castle: Say the keyword 'open' to transform this cube into a '200x'200 castle. The transformation happens instantly, and if you're caught in the area of effect, be prepared to get smashed. The cube is hard of hearing.
'the cube is hard of hearing' oh that's just evil lmao
Oh. I thought it a was the other way I thought the point was that if the player whispers, the cube can't hear. But I think what you are imagining is that the cube might hear "open" when something else was said
I thought it was that you can't just shout from afar because it can't hear you, so there's not really any options other than to sacrifice someone every time you want to use it.
So many options!
The merchant says: "thanks for purchasing that cube, if you need something else we are open all day every day"
The party is now dead
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Bag of Communal Holding
Content is shared with all other bags of communal holding in existence. Sometimes retrieving objects involves awkward hand contact if someone else is using their bag at the same time.
Even more hilarious if you could accidentally pull out someone else trying to retrieve objects from the bag. Would be kind of awkward getting them back to their origin though...
Not accidentally holding a strangers hand. This is the worst one by far.
Sweaty Sword:
Really good sword, strong steel. The handle is wrapped in living leather harvested from the palms of a cursed pervert. It's always slightly warmer than your hand and it exudes a sticky substance that enhances grip. Smells like corn.
Survival Stew Balls:
A fried ball of...food. It's rock hard, slightly too big to hold with one hand easily, completely impermeable, and covered in a flaky, delicate panko breaded crust. To eat, boil one in 5 gallons of water to produce a pot of stew. The flavor is different for every ball. Never cook two in the same pot at the same time. Wash the pot thoroughly within 6 hours after removing from heat. especially if it's made of iron. Under no circumstances are you to reheat the left overs.
Emergency Shews:
Bubble gum that turns into one time use sandals. Once the flavor runs out, you have 30 seconds before the gum expands into shoes. The sizes seem to have been printed on the gum but they've long since faded or rubbed off. Durian flavor.
Dead Cat Bounce:
A black bottle with a cat eye painted on it. If you drink the contents and die due to falling from a great height, you will be revived immediately and launched with equivalent force in a random direction.
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Skull of Corruption: It can do damage, but most of the time to your invaluable backup files.
Bag for holding:
It's a bag of holding but instead of occupying a bag slot it must be kept in the main hand.
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