We just kept the diaper on, but used the pull up kind. Took her frequently for a month or two and she just got it. Super easy. However, every kid is different. She was a nightmare to get her sleeping consistently in her own bed and staying asleep. She's 11 now and sleeping is still kind of an issue sometimes.
My son simply refused to go #2 in the toilet for 4 years. #1 was never a problem. His mom and I tried everytig we could think of, positive and negative reinforcement. Now at 4 1/2 he is finally telling us when he is ready to go and using the toilet properly. He was extremely stubborn about it until he just wasn't anymore. Lego Minecraft sets were used as positive reinforcement after say,10 consistent poops in the toilet. I do not envy your struggle, but it will eventually pass. I do not know why boys are so stubborn.
It's not gender related. Son was easy, daughter just couldn't feel, when she needed to go until she was a bit over 4 years old. He will do it when he's ready. I feel you.
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