this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2023
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565
I found my Halloween costume (i.imgur.com)
submitted 2 years ago by thorbot@lemmy.world to c/memes@lemmy.ml
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[–] Roundcat@kbin.social 80 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I have no kids. Where's my all of that?

[–] teuast@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 years ago

i also have no kids or desire for kids, and not much of this, other than being able to sleep

[–] thorbot@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

I said it was my costume

[–] eezeebee@lemmy.ca 49 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Huh my costume must be defective

[–] VanillaGorilla@kbin.social 40 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Is it the sex whenever you want? That feature is a paid one I think, mine's not working either.

[–] RojoSanIchiban@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Goddamn pay-to-win model!

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Just pull random shit out of your pockets and see if it increases their intimacy meter.

[–] VanillaGorilla@kbin.social 21 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

"Use rubber chicken with woman"

I can't use that

"Use magical root beer on woman"

I don't think she's thirsty

"Use Wally's monocle on woman"

I can't use that

I give up. Women are too complicated.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)

There's a reason Guybush Threepwood never got laid.

[–] VanillaGorilla@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago

In the current game he even has a kid with Elaine. He got that one going for him, which is nice.

[–] RojoSanIchiban@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

If only it had a pulley in the middle...

[–] Dubious_Fart@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Problem is I got bad stats.

Only women that ever express interest in me are batshit fucking crazy, or abusives.

Wish I could reroll this life.

[–] Bigtiddygothgrany@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Is that Jim Carrey in Yes Man?

[–] db2@sopuli.xyz 15 points 2 years ago

That last bullet point is kinda sus

[–] TokyoMonsterTrucker@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

*liquor, drugs and sex partners sold separately

[–] Dubious_Fart@lemmy.ml -3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Sex whenever you want?

Sounds like a rapist costume, not an adult with no kids costume.

[–] thorbot@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Sex whenever you want doesn’t imply rape, unless you’re a rapist yourself

[–] Dubious_Fart@lemmy.ml -2 points 2 years ago

Sounds like what a rapist would say trying to cover for their urge to take sex whenever they want it.