Ding dong the Mitch is dead!

I be he is sad about losing his bet with the Koch brothers that he could successfully complete the portal opening sequence to the gates of hell while he was Senate Majority Leader.

He managed to do so much damage in his lifetime. This is not a win.

Will they carry him out on their shoulders? In a pine box? I mean, he died months ago, didn't he?

So, do you think they'll cart out a catatonic corpse? Or will he finally shed his spine and ooze out under the door?

Hopefully he drops dead soon after.

This is strange. I don't dare to hope that McConnell is stepping down for his health, I'm certain that all the human misery he has caused innervates him in a way no drug could. This could speak to a larger internal power struggle. McConnell fucking sucks, but he hasn't been the greatest ally to the MAGAts recently. I know Trump recently infected all of the RNC leadership, I wonder if McConnell is getting muscled down to make way for a crazier, more pro-Trump Republican leader.

Wow, Associated Press, "a record run in the job" that's what you came up with huh? Well, fuck you.

"He spoke at times haltingly"

We're getting duplicate posts so I'm going to sticky this one.

This is the best summary I could come up with:

WASHINGTON (AP) — Mitch McConnell, the longest-serving Senate leader in history who maintained his power in the face of dramatic convulsions in the Republican Party for almost two decades, will step down from that position in November.

McConnell, who turned 82 last week, was set to announce his decision Wednesday in the well of the Senate, a place where he looked in awe from its back benches in 1985 when he arrived and where he grew increasingly comfortable in the front row seat afforded the party leaders.

His decision punctuates a powerful ideological transition underway in the Republican Party, from Ronald Reagan’s brand of traditional conservatism and strong international alliances, to the fiery, often isolationist populism of former President Donald Trump.

McConnell gave no specific reason for the timing of his decision, which he has been contemplating for months, but he cited the recent death of his wife’s youngest sister as a moment that prompted introspection.

Trump has pulled the party hard to the ideological right, questioning longtime military alliances such as NATO, international trade agreements and pushing for a severe crackdown on immigration, all the while clinging to the falsehood that the election was stolen from him in 2020.

After seeing the potential peril of a rising Tea Party, he also established a super political action committee, The Senate Leadership Fund, which has provided hundreds of millions of dollars in support of Republican candidates.

The original article contains 1,154 words, the summary contains 235 words. Saved 80%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!

Good, he's a dinosaur anyways and we need to extinct them so to speak. They are ruining life for everyone.

Finally the turtle retires

Fuck McClownell.

I wonder which complete GOP MAGA psychopath is going to get the turtle's seat? I'm betting they try and force Tuberville on us.