Asklemmy

Can you give us more context?

"Woman" is almost always preferred because it respects one's personal identity, as opposed to the compulsory status of biological sex, which is often used as a source of belittlement and/or bigotry against women. (and carries a whole plethora of baggage when people decide they get to judge someone's female-ness)

But it doesn't mean that you shouldn't generally be able to use the term "female" without causing social friction, if you have a good amount of social grace.

(its actually quite normal in fantasy/scifi circles, for example)

I think you may be asking the wrong question- you may want to explain what you were talking about and ask what specific phrases or situations might have unsettled people.

Maybe it was just a weirdly specific English faux pas, or maybe you have a friend who is a little extra sensitive after bad experiences and who could use your support. Maybe its a total miscommunication- who knows?

One place where it makes sense to use the word female as a noun is when an individual word like "woman" doesn't work. For instance, if there are girls and women together, neither "women" nor "girls" is appropriate. In that case, I think "female" is the only option. I'd be happy to hear if anyone has an alternative.

For me, As non native English speaker too, its aggressive .

im a female. im offensive. does that count?

Anything can be offensive in the corresponding context.

I mean, I didn't know "orange" could be offensive, but then Trump showed up.

Saying 'female' to refer to a person who is female can sound overly technical or abstracted, and therefore a bit dehumanizing or depersonalizing.

That said, some people over-react, and sometimes it is more appropriate or at least fine to say 'female', for example if you were speaking in the abstract about something that spans between women and girls, or is specifically about biological sex.

But most of the time 'women' or 'girls' or even 'ladies' is going to be more appropriate.

What language are you coming from, out of curiosity?

Everything is offensive to someone.

It's dehumanizing. Use woman, girl, person.

Many people consider it dehumanizing. Others interpret as a signal of at least insensitivity and at most conscious dehumanizing. It can feel threatening outside certain specific contexts and that depends much on how much you trust the person saying it.

I find it outmoded and jarring. I know people who say it as part of everyday speech and I trust them but I'd prefer it if they spoke differently and I think they're projecting an image worse than they merit.

I don't call things offensive or not, because that oversimplifies the matter. I would find "male" and "female" useful as nouns when I want to refer to biological sex specifically and not confuse it with gender. I would also find the adjectives "manly" and "womanly" useful to refer to gender instead of using "male" and "female". But as long as enough other people feel threatened by some of those words in a neutral context where they don't already trust me, it seems wise to me to be aware of that and not use those words that way.

The whole idea of saying "a white" instead of "a white man" is merely a habit we picked up from Latin, anyway.