Just posted this to the subreddit so I figured here too for posterity:
Be me
Be CN catfolk bard.
Be stuck in a nation that isn't too kind to beastfolk.
Passing through village with Adventurer's guild.
Go to adventurer's guild for work.
Only job they have for me is 'rat extermination'.
Job offers 5 copper. Not per rat. Just 5 flat.
"Job with a free lunch!" says guild clerk with a sneer.
WellFuckYouToo.jpg
"Fine I'll take it."
Get to home with rats.
Old lady lives there.
She's nice but poor.
Apparently she's a hoarder because a cursory look inside shows over 200 goddamn rats!
WTF! 5 Coppers for this?!
Fine.
Use Minor Illusion to throw my voice into the cellar to mimic a lion's roar.
Roll 19 Performance, not bad!
RAT TSUNAMI FLOODS OUT OF OLD LADY'S HOUSE INTO THE STREET!
Not a single rat left in the home.
Lady looks nonplussed but is grateful the rats are gone. Signs my completion document to get paid.
Strut to the guild for my 5 coppers feeling like the most dashing motherfucker around while the entire rest of the village now has a rat problem.
Buy cheap wine with the easiest 5 coppers ever earned.
If I were DM, congrats! You're hidden backstory is that you were one of the most depraved rodeo clowns to ever have existed. You were patient zero of a necromantic crotch-rot epidemic plaguing your birth-nation to this very day. You traded your memories for the cure. No one recognizes you because you're not wearing your signature make-up and are wearing more than just chaps and a crazed grin.