Who gives a fuck what an old dead lizard thought?
I have an idea:
Why not try closing the intentional tax loopholes that allow massive companies to offshore profits before they're taxed on them?
The answer is because it's the same loopholes that the MPs use to offshore our taxes that they've siphoned into their own pockets.
How about stop coming up with another way of selling me alcohol and just start selling weed by the eighth?
Stop fucking around you cunts.
Lead singer of Cannibal Corpse loves claw machines and plays them on tour. He collects up all his winnings and donated them at a local orphanage at Christmas.
He also sings I Cum Blood
I shined a torch in my wife's sleeping face this morning at 5am.
I didn't mean to, I was looking for my ear tunnel, it had fallen out in the night and I didn't want to go a day at work with a cats arsehole for an ear lobe.
I looked for my spare ones first, I really didn't want to be that guy, I'm a night person.
Anyway I sent her this and she had to remind me I was a bastard.
She's right.
If you listen to the Yazidis he was sent to Hell for defying God by not bowing down to us humans, his greatest work, despite God telling Satan to never bow to anyone because he was made of God's essence rather than us, made in his likeness.
So he went to Hell for 10 000 years until his tears put out the fires of Hell, then God forgave him. He also rewarded him for honoring his original pact with God and was given Dominion over Earth.
He took this Dominion and gave us Humans "Knowledge" like the Serpent in the Garden of Eden, only the Knowledge was of Farming.
Thing is, the Yazidis live awefully close to what is thought to be the birthplace of Farming.
When asked to describe Satan, they described him as a Peacock holding a sheaf of Wheat in it's beak, the same image found in Gobekli Tepe, which is thought to be a shrine that taught Farming to the world.
Hail Satan.
Edit: this is just my understanding after reading an article or 2 on the subject, I'm probably wrong about loads of it, but it's all just stories anyway so who cares?
Gynaecologists never get arrested. Coincidence?
From actually reading the piece, this headline is wrong. It should read "Gang-raped 14 year old was burned alive then cut to pieces"
Which actually makes more sense
For transparency, it says that she was alive when she was burned, and the body was recovered from more than one location and this made the investigation harder.
So I have then concluded that she was burned alive and then cut to pieces, rather than cut to pieces alive and then burned.
My 19 year old cat does this "scream" when we give her people-food. She carries it up to the sofa she lives on and screams. Apparently it's because she's "proud of her kill" and wants to show it off, but i think she's saying "Thanks human, we share"
Since the Reddit blackout I decided to learn how to solve a Rubik's Cube. My best time for solving one so far is 82 seconds. I know it's no world record but the average person can't solve a Rubik's cube so I'm way more experienced.
Oh I got into a "discussion" with my neighbour who's friend said she was cruel for having indoor cats.
I said her friend is thick and should be ignored, because she is and she should be.
Well the neighbour decided instead to give her cats to the Shelter and now has indoor dogs.
I don't like my neighbour, she's stupid with stupid friends, and cruel to animals.
In other news, one of my indoor cats is 19 years old.
Don't let this make you all laxidasical about voting. "They'll lose anyway so fuck it" and all that.
Vote the fuckers out